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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29739630">Death was the beginning of forever with you</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/evelitan/pseuds/evelitan'>evelitan</a>, <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/sasha272/pseuds/sasha272'>sasha272</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Legend of the Seeker (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>AU The Old Guard, Bringing back this ship for Femlash February 2021, Enemies to Lovers, F/F, Slow Burn</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-05-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 21:14:21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>31,616</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29739630</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/evelitan/pseuds/evelitan, https://archiveofourown.org/users/sasha272/pseuds/sasha272</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>When Kahlan died, she thought she would bask in the Creator’s light in eternal happiness but she didn’t. When Cara died, she thought she would suffer under the Keeper’s rule, tortured for eternity but she didn’t. The war between the Midlands and D’Hara took many lives, but Kahlan and Cara couldn’t die, they came back again and again until they realized, they were bound to live forever. What do you do when your enemy is the only one who can understand your struggle? Keep fighting or call a truce….</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Kahlan Amnell/Cara Mason</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>72</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>142</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>A/N: Co-written with Evelitan. Start after season 1. Serena and the Confessors are alive and in Aydindril. The Mord’Sith are still united and fighting for Darken Rahl’s war.</p><p>Kahlan and Cara’s love story is a mix of Andy x Noriko/Quynh and Nico x Joe. Even though it’s some kind of crossover with the Old Guard (they don’t meet Andy and the others but we use the whole concept), it leans more on LOTS at first but if you read the comics, you will see hints along the way of scenes or conversations they have: Kahlan like Nile who sees her immortality as a gift to use for the greater good, Cara being a victim of her Hubris like Andy, leaving the people they love behind… We had to adapt some things obviously because magic is a part of their world but we didn’t try to explain the old guard thing.</p><p>Let us know what you think!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p><em>“Run… run and don’t look back…”</em>  She kept repeating the words in her mind like a mantra etched in her memory. Quick thumping steps were approaching, raged intakes of breath echoed in the silence of the forest, icy blue eyes, almost entirely consumed by black pupils were searching frantically the surroundings… until a sudden flash of light illuminated the forest around her. She could hear the steps behind her quickly approaching, the enemy almost close enough to feel them breathing down her neck. Looking quickly, scanning the trees around for a sign of a red leather jacket or a glimpse of short blonde hair, Khalan kept running, one foot in front of the other. She could feel the faint ache in her muscles with each step but her mind kept screaming for her to find Cara. Another thunder rumbled in the skies above them, there was a huge storm quickly approaching and another bolt of lightning lit up the woods for a full second. A forgotten sensation of tingling in her fingertips appeared from nowhere and Kahlan could feel the dormant magic in her veins waking up once again…</p><p>The same voice as before spoke again only this time, not in between shallow, shaky breaths, but calmly and much gentler…</p><p>
  <em>“…I’ve been here before. Over and over again and each time the same question, is this it? Will this time be the one? And each time the same answer…” </em>
</p><p>The dried-up pine needles cracked and snapped under Kahlan’s boots; she was used to it already… Many things had changed over the centuries, progress they called it, the people grew more merciless, the cities more polluted, the earth… the earth grew less and less friendly to the humans but very few could see it.</p><p>Magic was long since forgotten and considered a myth, just something to embellish fairy tales with, mages and warlocks were a thing from legends, and yet in this new world, people were growing more ignorant than ever before.</p><p>It had been nearly an entire century since the last savage battle they fought but the rush of adrenalin that kept her moving swiftly between the trees was always the same, it was like a bittersweet elixir she couldn’t stay away from. She had been running from enemies old and new alike for centuries, fighting wars for centuries, keeping her secret for centuries… and thankfully still loving for what felt like eons.</p><p>Each battle bore the constant, perverse resemblance to the last, the stench of iron in the air, the crusty bloodstains on her clothes, the burn of exhaustion in her muscles… Kahlan could handle all that but the thought of losing the only person that was like her and with her from the very beginning was more horrifying to her than the possibility of her wounds never healing up again. The thought of losing Cara one day had tortured Kahlan from the very beginning. The blonde seemed to live as if she would never die and Kahlan on the other hand… well, Kahlan lived to protect as much as she could that adorable, blonde idiot that the Universe had decided was her soulmate. Had you told Kahlan half a millennia ago that she would end up completely in love with her sworn enemy, a Mord’Sith, she would have probably declared you a fool and certainly not in your right mind but time had a funny way of proving her wrong.</p><p>When it all began, they killed each other again and again, a cycle of never-ending battles until one day they realized none of them could die and they had to stop. Cara was the thing that grounded her now, that tethered her to the present and kept her sane.</p><p>“<em>I’ve been here before… and I know this is not how <strong>this</strong> ends… But let me take you back to the time it all began.”</em> A bright flash of light dissolved into nothing the forest around Kahlan…</p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>Kahlan Amnell was tired to the bone. The joy of finally taking down Darken Rahl was now fading away, slowly replaced by a sense of emptiness as they traveled to Aydindril.</p><p>Richard said the war was over but it didn’t feel like it. There was still so much to do, especially after meeting Commander Trimack and discovering the truth about Richard’s lineage. A new fight was about to begin and Richard seemed happy to ignore it. Kahlan couldn’t understand why he was so eager to push aside that part of himself when she didn’t have the same luxury.</p><p>As they made camp for the night, Kahlan tried to ignore the feeling of despondency slowly creeping into her soul. It was silly to hope for a different life. She had entertained those thoughts for too long already, mostly because she didn’t think she would survive her journey. With a sigh, Kahlan sat by the fire and watched as Richard skinned a rabbit. It was easy to dream with Richard, easy to go along with his endless optimism, and imagine a bright future. As the leagues separating them from Aydindril decreased, however, she started to wonder if his dreams were hers too.</p><p>“Are you well, my child?” Zedd asked, interrupting the confessor’s musing.</p><p>Kahlan blinked. “I’m sorry Zedd, did you say something?” She smiled apologetically. </p><p>Zedd gave her a soft smile in return. “I asked if you wanted some bread.”</p><p>Kahlan shook her head. “You have it.” She wasn’t really hungry and she could tell Zedd was dying for a big meal. Richard quickly made a joke about Zedd’s bottomless pit and the feast they would have once in Aydindril. The easy banter helped Kahlan forget her worries for a while but it didn’t last long.</p><p>Later, when she lay down on her bedroll next to Richard, he started whispering about his plan for the future and Kahlan realized for the second time that day that she didn’t like how she fitted in it.</p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>The trio must have traveled for days until they finally set their gaze upon the walls of Aydindril, each step bringing them closer to that magnificent city. One could rarely appreciate the beauty of the colossal stone walls and towers delimiting it, making it almost impossible to conquer.</p><p>As soon as their boots stepped on the bridge, a scout from the towers quickly ran down the stairs and up to them, his eyes glimmering with something akin to excitement, fear, and… hope. He couldn’t have seen more than fifteen summers; his hands were still soft instead of callused and his toothy smile reminded Kahlan of her sister when she was little.</p><p>“Hello, I…” Kahlan started but she couldn’t even finish her greetings that the scout was running away from them and toward the heart of the city.</p><p>As they passed the main gate, most people paid them no mind, rushing around them with their daily tasks but slowly, more and more faces turned to look at them until everyone stopped all their hustle and bustle to watch them pass through the streets. At first, the silence was maddening, even Zedd was starting to feel uneasy and Richard’s hand had moved closer to the hilt of his sword.</p><p>The moment dragged on until a young woman in the crowd approached them excitedly. “This is him! The Seeker! The Seeker has come to help us!” She said as she got close enough to take Richard’s hand. He smiled at her and then, the crowd erupted in cheers. Richard loved the attention but Kahlan couldn’t appreciate it because she had a gut feeling that something was off. Aydindril was the stronghold of the Midlands, they shouldn’t need rescue, they should offer it. Her curiosity increased when she heard the townsfolk sing old songs.</p><p>“Kahlan!” A single female voice grabbed Kahlan’s attention among the cheers.</p><p>Kahlan would recognize that voice anywhere. “Mother Confessor?” She called, searching for her familiar face in the crowd but it was impossible to see the toes of her own shoes, much less find a single person in the sea of people surrounding them.</p><p>“Kahlan Amnell!” The voice resonated again and soon after, the people cleared the way for the Mother Confessor who was walking towards them with opened arms. “I am so happy to see you again! I feared the worst.” The Mother Confessor said with evident relief lacing her words as she hugged the brunette.</p><p>Something was very wrong, Serena rarely showed Kahlan so much affection, especially in public. “I don’t understand, I thought you were in Valeria… is everything alright?” Kahlan asked as she broke the embrace. The woman in front of her refused to answer with anything other than a cryptid nod and a worried intake of breath. “I knew we should’ve escorted you to the beach…” She murmured under her nose but loud enough for Richard and Zedd to hear. After meeting in the forest, they had escorted the group of confessors for a few leagues but they were forced to part ways when a quad attacked them.</p><p>“Let’s get to the palace and we’ll talk then.” The Mother Confessor whispered in her ear and gestured for Richard and Zedd to follow them.</p><p>The way everyone quickly made way for the Mother Confessor never failed to leave Kahlan in awe, it showed how much the people loved and respected her. There was also fear in that gesture. For some, being confessed was worse than being tortured by a Mord’Sith, because torture eventually ended with the sweet relief of death when confession took away your very soul…</p><p>Even though the weather was still warm enough outside for the season, the Confessor’s Palace was quite chilly and a sudden shiver ran up Kahlan’s spine. The doors opened one by one and the Mother Confessor finally led the three of them to one of the smaller rooms near the hall where she attended the petitions.</p><p>“I wish we had more time for pleasantries, my dear, but alas…” Serena started but Richard as always was too impatient.</p><p>“Excuse me, Mother Confessor, perhaps now you could tell us what’s going on? Why are you not in Valeria?” He asked with a confused expression while Zedd kept his mouth shut.</p><p>“Right… Well…” Serena began once more but the Spirits weren’t in her favor today and just in that moment, a couple of knocks on the wooden doors interrupted her.</p><p>“Mother Confessor, more volunteers have arrived at the armory and we just need… Kahlan!” The young woman who had just stepped into the room was now sprinting toward Kahlan and right into her arms.</p><p>Years could pass and Kahlan would still recognize the sweet voice of her sister anywhere in the world. Dennee tended to be more emotional than her but Kahlan hadn’t realized how much she had missed her hugs until she wrapped her arms around her again. “Dennee! Thank the Creator!” She hurried to examine her sister’s face and appearance as soon as they broke their embrace. The angry, reddish scar running from the side to the middle of Denne’s neck cut short all her thoughts. “Your neck! What happened?” She put two fingers under her sister’s chin and urged her head upward to get a better look at it. The wound started an inch away from the carotid. Dennee had been lucky, an inch closer to the left and she would have bled out.</p><p>“I’ll tell you about it later, I need to get back to the armory now. I’ll ask Erin if she can help me train them.” Dennee ended up saying, glancing at Serena for confirmation that she could ask for Erin’s help. Once she received a nod of agreement, she looked back at Kahlan. “I’m okay now, I promise.” She said with a sweet smile then excused herself from the room.</p><p>“One of Darken’s old allies’ army caught up with us before we could get to Valeria. We hid in the forest for days but we knew we wouldn’t last long in the open so Dennee and Tara decided to lure most of the soldiers to the east to give us enough time to go back to the palace. Unfortunately, Tara didn’t make it…” The Moher Confessor spoke solemnly. “Ever since we’re back, we are trying to gather volunteers but…”</p><p>“We can help you train them, the volunteers I mean.” Richard offered. “But I have a request.” He glanced at Kahlan. “While things are still calm, maybe Kahlan and I could set a date for our marriage ceremony?”</p><p>“I…” Kahlan stopped, not knowing what to say. It wasn’t the right time to have this talk, especially not after hearing about Tara’s death. Richard and her might have talked about marriage ever since Zedd said he could procure them a Rada’Han but in all honesty, the prospect of turning that eventuality into reality so quickly almost made her queasy and not in a good way. Surprisingly, that was not the feeling she thought she would have. She didn’t want to lock away a part of herself just to satisfy her needs. The wizard told her it was only temporary, until he could visit the Wizard’s Keep and find a spell that would allow their love to soar but Kahlan wasn’t convinced.</p><p>Serena waited for the thrilled ‘yes’ of Kahlan but when an awkward silence settled instead, it was clear that it wouldn’t come. Seeing her hesitation, the Mother Confessor hurried to help Kahlan. “You must all be tired from your journey, let’s talk about it after dinner.” She smiled. “Kahlan, would you accompany me to the market? There are a couple of things you could help me with.”</p><p>“Of course.” Kahlan nodded. She still had a lot of questions but it could wait a bit longer.</p><p>“One of the guards is waiting outside to show you to your rooms. Please make yourselves comfortable and we’ll see you at dinner.” The Mother Confessor said at Richard and Zedd before motioning for Kahlan to follow her. Once they were outside the room, she spoke again. “Go, find Dennee, I’m sure she wants to see you as well. Wait for me at the main gates in half a candle mark.”</p><p>“Thank you, Mother Confessor.” Kahlan bowed her head and rushed to find Dennee.</p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>Kahlan found Dennee in the armory. The woman was trying to fit an old great helm that was particularly small over the head of a particularly big volunteer. Kahlan stood there, watching her sister practically jumping on top of the man’s head to put the helmet on. Holding her breath and biting the inside of her cheek to keep her laughter to herself, she waited for a couple of extra seconds before announcing her presence.</p><p>“It seems like you are fighting a losing battle, sister.” Kahlan finally said with a controlled chuckle.</p><p>Dennee huffed. “We already gave out every piece of armor we had, so now we have to improvise.” She bit her lower lip as she pushed the helm down again but it refused to go any lower. “…Ugh… I give up…” She sighed. “Just come back in a couple of days, Peter, we’ll find you something your size by then.” The chubby man smiled brightly at her and nodded before bidding his goodbyes to the pair. Dennee turned to Kahlan. “He makes a wonderful walnut bread but he’s not exactly warrior material.” There was laughter in her voice.</p><p>Kahlan smiled but quickly turned serious. “What happened while I was away? Where is our army and why do you need volunteers?” She fired questions, her face and voice betraying her worries.</p><p>“Kahlan… Our army took heavy losses. We barely have enough Home Guards to protect the palace. If we don’t recruit townsfolk, we won’t survive the next attack.” Dennee explained sadly.</p><p>“But Darken Rahl is dead.” Kahlan stated. She knew his allies were still out there but with some work, Aydindril could rise again. “Without a new leader, the D’Haran’s army is weaker and it can work to our advantage. We just need…”</p><p>“I think they already have a new leader…” Dennee lowered her voice almost to a whisper-like level.</p><p>“That’s not possible, we would have heard about it.” Kahlan was aware that some kings were fighting for the throne already but they weren’t powerful enough to unify the empire Darken had left behind.</p><p>“If it wasn’t the case, the Mord’Sith wouldn’t keep fighting us.” Dennee pointed out. “I felt their agiels against my skin enough times to know the bond is still there.”</p><p>“Is that how you got your scar, by fighting them?” Kahlan questioned gently. She suspected the power of the bond was coming from Richard but it was too soon to talk about that.</p><p>Dennee nodded. “It was a while ago, when Lord Rahl was still alive and we were trying to reach Valeria.” She sighed. “When you stayed behind in the forest to create a diversion, we thought we had managed to fool the quad coming after us but then, a group of Mord’Sith found us. We couldn’t risk going to the coast so we decided to go back to Aydindril where we could regroup and with the help of some volunteers, try to get to Valeria once more. Tara and I walked ahead of the Mother Confessor to make sure the path was clear and just when we thought… just when we thought that the worst had passed and we could see the walls of Aydindril, the Mord’Sith attacked us. They were ruthless…” Her voice broke. She welcomed Kahlan’s hands in hers, silently supporting her. “There were two of us against four of them. They…” A small tear escaped Dennee’s eyes. “They cornered Tara while she was confessing one of them. I was just a couple of feet away from her but I couldn’t help her. I could barely keep my guard up and that was when that wench gave me that scar. She hit my temple with her agiel and then used my own dagger to slit my throat. I thought I would die, Kahlan, but she couldn’t even do that right.” She paused, touching her neck. When she spoke again, the sadness in her voice was gone, replaced by anger. “I can see her face in my sleep, it haunts me. I even know her name, Cara. I promise you she will pay for…”</p><p>“Cara?” Kahlan interrupted, her brows knitted in confusion.</p><p>“I think that was her name, I heard the rest of their group call her as they were heading back in search of the Mother Confessor and the others. It might be the name of some other though, they all look the same to me. It wouldn’t surprise me if they were named Cara 1, Cara 2…” Dennee laughed and Kahlan followed as well. For a single moment, the sisters forgot about their struggles.</p><p>“Dennee, I am so sorry I wasn’t there to protect you…” Kahlan’s eyes filled with unshed tears but her sister wasn’t having it.</p><p>“Hey, it’s not your fault. You couldn’t have known and we all need to follow our own path.” Dennee cupped her sister’s face lovingly. “By the Creator, it’s so good to see you again.” She hugged Kahlan. “Now, tell me about you and Richard.” She pulled away with a teasing smile. “Mother Confessor seemed very pleased to see you together. I wonder how she hasn’t announced that miracle to all the Midlands yet.” Dennee laughed.</p><p>“Spirits, I don’t know who’s more impatient about that, the Mother Confessor or Richard.” Kahlan shook her head and averted her gaze to the cobble under her feet.</p><p>“I don’t see <em>you</em> being very excited though. I thought you wanted the same thing…” Dennee said softly, almost as if she was approaching a scared calf.</p><p>“I… I want to be excited but the truth is… I’ve been having my doubts for a few weeks now. I just… I think I never expected to survive my mission. I was ready to die to protect Richard so it was easy to make plans for a future that seemed impossible to have. But here I am, alive and there is so much work to be done in the Midlands. I don’t think now is the best moment to get married and raise the next generation of confessors.” Kahlan opened her mouth to continue but Dennee warningly nodded in direction of the Mother Confessor slowly approaching. Kahlan closed her mouth and watched as Serena walked toward them. The woman was the epitome of power and she always claimed to love the confessors like her own children but it came at a price. The Mother Confessor was obsessed with them finding a mate as quickly as possible to assure the continuity of the confessor’s line and she made that clear to Kahlan when they were escorting them in the forest.</p><p>“I hope I haven’t interrupted anything. You’ll have plenty of time to catch up tonight during the feast.” Serena spoke and gestured at Kahlan to follow her toward the market.</p><p>“She’s right, I still have to find a helmet that will fit poor Peter. I’ll see you later.” Dennee excused herself.</p><p>“Good luck with that!”  Kahlan laughed before following the Mother Confessor.</p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>Four candle marks later and for the first time in months, the palace was bursting with life. Everyone was getting ready for the feast in honor of the Seeker. The kitchens were brimming with the sounds of metal plates clashing together and several dishes of meats, fruits and cheese were being arranged carefully and carried to the banquet hall. The room itself was enormous and filled with people, noblemen, as well as commoners, had the opportunity to enjoy the banquet, some more than others of course. In every corner, there were brightly lit torches and every inch of the chandeliers that hung from the ceiling was covered in candles, making the room bright and welcoming.</p><p>Kahlan was getting ready in her chambers when there was a knock on the door. Even though she still had to lace the dress she was wearing, she decided it was presentable enough for her to see who was behind the door. “Come in.”</p><p>“How was your walk?” Dennee asked as she stepped inside her sister’s chambers.</p><p>“Interesting, the Mother Confessor wouldn’t stop asking me about Richard and me.” Kahlan rolled her eyes. She was sure listening to Zedd’s tales about his youth for the fourth time would have been more entertaining. “For someone who didn’t want us to mix love and duty, she seemed eager to see me married.”</p><p>“Kahlan, if you’re not sure about Richard being your mate…” Dennee started but the brunette quickly interrupted her.</p><p>“I thought I wanted this… being with Richard… but now that I can have it all with a Rada’han, something doesn’t feel right. I love him, Dennee, but as much as my heart is safe with him, I don’t…” She paused. “I took a moment to pray earlier and I feel like the Creator has other plans for me.” Kahlan had a hard time explaining what she was feeling to her sister, probably because she wasn’t even sure herself. She felt lost and it was easier to focus on her duties.</p><p>Dennee smiled. “I’ve always looked up to you, Kahlan. I even envied what you had with Richard at first but now, I’m glad I took Finn as a mate. Even if I’m not with child yet, it’s less heartache.” She took her sister’s hands in hers. “You taught me some rules should be broken so if you want to choose the path of love instead of taking a confessed mate like us, you have my full support. Even if it’s not with Richard, you deserve true love, sister.”</p><p>“Thank you.” Kahlan blinked away her tears. She had reminded herself so many times that love wasn’t for confessors, that it didn’t work that way for them, that she needed a mate, not for romance but to bear a child, because it was her duty. Despite repeating all that like a mantra, a little voice inside of her kept whispering, hoping, that she could love someone someday and be loved in return without destroying her lover’s soul with her power of confession. She knew it was a silly thought but she couldn’t kill that voice, no matter how much it hurt her sometimes.</p><p>Dennee clapped her hands. “In the meantime, we can focus on raising an army and rebuilding Aydindril.”</p><p>“You are right. I have this gut, twisting feeling that something huge is coming our way and it’s not good.” Kahlan said ominously.</p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>When Kahlan reached the banquet hall, Richard was waiting for her at the table. She hadn’t seen him since the early afternoon and she marveled at how quickly the time had passed. As soon as she sat down, the Mother Confessor addressed her.</p><p>“Ah, Kahlan! Richard was just telling us about the night he asked for your hand after you defeated Darken Rahl.” Serena stood between them and gleamed. If a random villager had passed by at this moment, he would have thought the boy had asked her to marry him instead of Kahlan.</p><p>“Really…” Kahlan trailed off. It wasn’t really a proposal and she hadn’t really said yes either but Richard was a romantic at heart so he probably assumed it was all good. It was not something she wanted to discuss anyway. She wanted to enjoy her evening with her friends because she knew it would be the only peaceful moment they would have until a long time.</p><p>“We’ll discuss the date of the ceremony soon, my child, now it’s time to celebrate your return.” The Mother Confessor announced before sitting at the head of the table with Dennee, Erin, and Alana sitting faithfully by her side.</p><p>“You look beautiful,” Richard whispered in her ear.</p><p>“Thank you.” Kahlan smiled genuinely. No matter what she felt, she still cared about him.</p><p>Richard leaned closer and slightly opened his jacket to reveal the hint of a necklace. “Zedd found a Rada’Han, we can be fully together now.” He smiled boyishly at her.</p><p>Kahlan felt panic rise in her chest and stood up abruptly. “I need to speak with a couple of people, excuse me.” She stepped away from the table but Richard gently grabbed her wrist to stop her.</p><p>“Do you want me to come with you?” Richard asked.</p><p>“You should stay and make sure Zedd doesn’t choke on a bone.” Kahlan forced a joke as she glanced at Zedd who was enjoying what seemed to be very juicy pork ribs.</p><p>Every now and then, Richard would see the outlines of her alluring emerald dress but before he could catch up with Kahlan, she had moved to speak with yet another person.</p><p>Kahlan made it back to her bedchamber when Richard was already asleep and she was grateful for that. She wouldn’t be able to avoid him forever, but she couldn’t deal with his questions tonight, all she wanted right now was to sleep.</p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>Kahlan had been back for a week now and she hadn’t stopped working. Her time was filled with a myriad of things to do. She had to help her sisters with their duties and guide some townsfolk with their tasks.</p><p>She had barely seen Richard. All she knew was that he divided his time between training the volunteers and working with the local blacksmith to forge more weapons. Every time they had a chance to talk to each other, someone would whisk her away after a few minutes.</p><p>The situation was almost overwhelming. The Mother confessor wanted to give her new duties now that her quest with Richard was over. Richard wanted them to seal their union and find a way to build a family. Her sisters wanted stories, guidance. Everyone wanted something from her and Kahlan felt like nobody cared about what she wanted. She knew that as a confessor, she couldn’t run away from her responsibilities but spending months in the wild gave her a lot more freedom than she had now and she was starting to miss it. </p><p>Kahlan was in her chambers after souper, day-dreaming about a nice walk in the forest instead of reading when a series of four hesitant knocks broke her reveries. She didn’t need to open the door to know who it was but still, she knew she owed Richard some explanation for her behavior. Aware of her need for some distance, Richard had been sleeping in another room of the palace for the past few nights and she didn’t want him to think he had done anything wrong.</p><p>“Hey,” Richard said with a small smile as she opened the door and let him in. “I wasn’t sure if you’d still be awake but I needed to see you.”</p><p>“I was just about to go to bed actually.” Kahlan lied, knowing fully well that he would probably see through it. She was still working on a decree that the Mother Confessor had asked her to look over.</p><p>“Kahlan… are we okay?” Richard inquired but didn’t wait for an answer. Instead, he started rambling.  “Because we’ve barely talked to each other since we came here. I know you’re busy but it feels like you’re pushing me away. I’m here for you.”</p><p>“I know, I’m sorry.” Kahlan smiled. He was a sweet man, always ready to help. No matter her turmoil, she knew he was her friend first and foremost and she appreciated his support.</p><p>“Did I do something to upset you?” The Seeker questioned hesitantly.</p><p>“No, of course not.” Kahlan reached out and squeezed his shoulder. “I’m just tired.” It wasn’t a complete lie but it wasn’t the real reason and she could tell Richard knew it too.</p><p>Richard studied her for a moment. “Is this about our marriage?”</p><p>Kahlan sighed. “I know we made plans but I don’t think we should rush things.”</p><p>“I thought you wanted this as much as I do.” Richard frowned.</p><p>“I did but things have changed and…” Kahlan was aware that she needed to find some time to reflect on her feelings for both their sake but it was hard when someone always needed her help. She knew Richard wasn’t trying to rush her, he was just in love and eager to prove his commitment. Since trouble always found them, it was reasonable to want a ceremony now that things were still calm and Kahlan would have agreed, if only she didn’t doubt her feelings.</p><p>“We don’t have to get married,” Richard reassured. “In fact, we don’t have to do anything. I love you, Kahlan, and I would be happy to stand by your side until you’re ready.”</p><p>‘What if I’m never ready?’ Kahlan wanted to ask but instead, she pulled Richard closer and hugged him. “Perhaps…” It was time to change the subject. “Maybe you should take volunteers and go to D’Hara.” She said cautiously as she broke the embrace. It was something she had been meaning to talk to him about for a while but she knew it was a sensitive matter. “You could...”</p><p>“I told you already,” Richard cut her off. “I refuse the Rahl title.”</p><p>“Some D’Haran battalions are loyal to you, we could use that to our advantage.” Kahlan insisted. She understood why Richard didn’t want to be affiliated with the Rahl’s legacy but it was ridiculous to completely reject it if it could help them finish the war once and for all.</p><p>“It’s too much of a risk.” Richard shook his head. “Besides, I can do more good here.”</p><p>“Then we should both get some rest; we have a lot to do in the morning.” Kahlan knew it was pointless to argue so she kissed his cheek and wished him goodnight.</p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>Kahlan had been in Aydindril for a month when tragedy struck. Lulled by the false safety of home, she had started hoping for a different future and let her guard down. She should have known better.</p><p>The Mother Confessor and Kahlan were walking the streets of the market, greeting the townspeople like they had done on the first day of her return. After a short conversation with a vendor, Selena turned to Kalhan. “Thank you for accompanying me, Kahlan.” She started walking again.</p><p>Kahlan bowed her head with a small smile and followed. “Of course, Mother Confessor.”</p><p>“I know we haven’t spent much time together since you returned.” The Mother Confessor declared as she stared ahead. “But I wanted a moment with you to talk about the future.”</p><p>“I think Richard’s idea to gather more troops outside of Aydindril is a good one,” Kahlan stated, glad to be consulted on the matter. The confessors didn’t need to flee to Valeria anymore but it didn’t mean Aydindril was safe from harm. “Darken Rahl might be gone but he still has faithful servants. We need to…”</p><p>Serena held her hand up to stop her. “The Seeker can deal with our battle strategy; I want to talk to you about your duty, Kahlan.”</p><p>Kahlan frowned. She knew Richard was happy to finally be useful but he wasn’t their leader and the Mother Confessor needed to take back control. “Our people need you to guide them. They need to know we haven’t abandoned them to their fate. If they see us fight back, they will join us. I appreciate Richard’s help as much as you do but with all due respect, he isn’t the king of Aydindril.”</p><p>“Marriage would give him more leverage but for some reason, you seem reluctant to wed him.” Serena pointed out. “Even after Zeddicus assured you that the Seeker would be safe.”</p><p>“We are at war,” Kahlan reminded her. She couldn’t understand why everyone wanted her to seal her union with Richard when Aydindril was on the brink of collapse. Their fight wasn’t over, D’Haran soldiers were still everywhere, looting and killing. They needed to stop them before thinking about rebuilding. “I don’t think we have the luxury for such a thing.”</p><p>“Confessors are threatened with extinction. It is our duty to continue our lineage no matter the state of the Midlands.” The Mother Confessor stressed. “If the Seeker isn’t to your liking anymore, you can take another mate. This isn’t about love, Kahlan, this is about survival.”</p><p>“I know that, but me being with child won’t help us,” Kahlan argued. “I wouldn’t be able to fight or protect our lands.”</p><p>“It is a sacrifice I’m willing to make,” Serena said solemnly.</p><p>Kahlan blinked. “A sacrifice <em>you </em>are willing to make?” The Mother Confessor couldn’t bear children anymore so Kahlan was pretty sure that if someone had to sacrifice nine months of their life, it would be her.</p><p>Serena sighed and stopped walking. “My dear Kahlan, you know I love you like a daughter. You’ve always made me proud.” She took Kahlan’s hands in hers. “But it feels like your journey with the Seeker made you lose sight of your priorities. You are a confessor and as such, you have responsibilities.”</p><p>Kahlan gaped in astonishment. She had sacrificed everything to protect Richard and help him on his quest. Yes, she had changed along the way but not enough to make her forget her duties as a confessor. “Are you questioning my judgment? I did everything you asked of me.”</p><p>“I know but things have changed.” Serena patted her cheek gently. “Think about it.” She stepped away as she heard a man call her name. “Excuse me.” She gave Kahlan a motherly smile before making her way to the man on the other side of the street.</p><p>Kahlan stared at Serena’s retreating back. She had the utmost respect for the Mother Confessor but her decisions had been questionable as of late. She wanted children, however, unlike her sisters, she didn’t want to rush into motherhood just so she could say that she did her duty. Most importantly, she didn’t want to bring a child into a world at war. She still had time to settle down but for now, her main concern was to bring peace to the Midlands. A tug on her dress interrupted her thinking. She looked down and saw a little girl smiling at her. Kahlan smiled back. “Oh, hello Madelina!” The girl was the daughter of the blacksmith. She had helped her father settle a dispute a long time ago and since, Madelina had taken every chance to talk to her.</p><p>“Kahlan, you’re back from your adventure!” Madelina exclaimed with sparkling eyes.</p><p>Kahlan chuckled and kneeled down. “I am. How are you, darling?”</p><p>Madelina shrugged. “I’m okay.”</p><p>Kahlan opened her mouth to ask another question but the Mother Confessor called her name. “I’ll be right back.” She winked at the girl and stood up to join Serena. As she made her way to her, she noticed two hooded figures approaching the Mother Confessor from behind. From afar, it looked like a man and a woman. She looked around for the Home Guards escorting them but they were nowhere to be found. She frowned; something was wrong.</p><p>Suddenly, Kahlan saw the gleam of a blade in the hand of the hooded man and her blood ran cold. “Mother Confessor! No!” She cried but it was too late. She watched helplessly as the mysterious attacker slit open Serena’s throat. The man then removed his hood and Kahlan stopped breathing. Darken Rahl was standing there, smiling at her, taunting her. It was impossible, he was supposed to be dead. Chaos ensued after that, people started running and screaming but Kahlan felt like she couldn’t move. She broke out of her torpor as soon as she saw Rahl flee and ran after him. She followed him to the gate but once she was there, it was like he had disappeared. The only trace of his passage was a black cloak on the ground. She walked to it and leaned down to pick it up. She saw movement from the corner of her eyes and realized it was the second hooded figure that was standing next to Darken Rahl earlier.</p><p>The woman removed her cloak to reveal her red leather. “Looking for something, Confessor?” She smirked as she grabbed her agiel.</p><p>Kahlan felt her anger rise at the sight of the Mord’Sith. “Where is your master?” She asked the brunette through gritted teeth.</p><p>“Gone. But Lord Rahl wants me to give you his condolences.” The Mord’Sith put on a sad face that slowly turned into a taunting smile.</p><p>“He can keep them!” Kahlan swiftly pulled out her daggers and charged forward. The woman blocked her attack with her agiel but Kahlan swirled to the side and slashed the back of her leg.</p><p>The Mord’Sith barely grunted and punched Kahlan before slamming her agiel against the confessor’s hand. Kahlan yelped in pain as her dagger fell to the ground. Another blow of the agiel on her stomach brought Kahlan to her knees but before the Mord’Sith could hit her again, she used the dagger still in her left hand and slammed it into the woman’s foot. The Mord’Sith screamed and Kahlan took advantage of the moment to stand and wrap her hand around the woman’s throat.  </p><p>The Mord’Sith’s eyes turned black then she breathed out. “Command me, Confessor.”</p><p>“What happened to Darken Rahl?” Kahlan questioned. “He was dead!”</p><p>“He didn’t die.” The woman coughed. “He was sent to the future and came back a week ago.”</p><p>Kahlan tightened her hold on the woman’s neck. “Why did he kill the Mother Confessor?”</p><p>“To send a message.” The Mord’Sith fell on the ground, gapping for air. “His Han might be weak but Lord Rahl will rise again.”</p><p>It explained why Rahl did the dirty work himself. He wanted to prove to everyone that even without his magic, he was still dangerous. D’Hara might be in disarray but the death of the Mother Confessor was the quickest way to remind any wavering soldier or Mord’Sith of who was in charge. “What’s his plan?” Kahlan asked.</p><p>“He’s gathering an army to march on Aydindril to kill what’s left of the confessors and annex the Midlands. Mistress Triana is helpin…” The Mord’Sith screamed in pain. “I’m sorry, mistress.” She whispered just before dying.</p><p>Kahlan pushed the woman’s body to the side and angrily grabbed her daggers. She could feel the tears gathering in her eyes but fought them back. She would have time to mourn later, right now she needed to warn Richard and her sisters of the danger coming their way. She wiped away the blood from her lips and made her way back to the market.</p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>When Kahlan reached the market, she saw a few Home guards surrounding the Mother Confessor’s body but they all looked too overwhelmed to do anything more than protect her lifeless body. She also noticed their dead comrades, the ones that were escorting them. Kahlan approached the guards and they all parted to let her see Serena’s body. She kneeled down and reverently touched her cold cheek. Kahlan said a prayer and closed Serena’s eyes as tears fell down her cheek. She gave herself a moment to feel before gathering herself. She wiped away her tears, put her confessor’s mask on, and turned to the guards. “Carry the Mother Confessor’s body back to the palace.”</p><p>Once in the palace, Kahlan told Richard and the rest of the confessors what had happened. Her sisters were devastated; it was yet another blow to the line of Confessors and Aydindril. Richard on the other hand, kept asking for details as if it would all suddenly make sense.</p><p>“I don’t understand,” Richard frowned. “I thought he was dead; I thought our quest was over…”</p><p>“Well, apparently not…” Kahlan squeezed his arm for comfort. “I’m sorry.”</p><p>Richard shook his head with a sad smile. “You have nothing to apologize for. The Mother Confessor died today because of my brother.” He whispered the last part so the confessors couldn’t hear him. “If anything, I should be the one apologizing; I should have made sure he was really dead.”</p><p>Kahlan sighed. “No one could have known.” They had no reason to think Darken Rahl had survived and except for a seer – who was more than rare lately – there was no way for them to have foreseen this. “Rahl and Triana are the ones responsible and we will bring them to justice.”</p><p>“You talked about Triana, how she’s helping him but who was the Mord’Sith with Darken?” Richard inquired.</p><p>“I didn’t stop to ask for her name,” Kahlan answered drily. They had other things to worry about. Rahl was back and it meant the war with D’Hara would intensify. They needed a plan of action, not empty conversations.</p><p>“But it wasn’t Cara, right?” Richard insisted.</p><p>“She had brown hair, Richard,” Kahlan repeated again, trying to rein in her frustration. She had explained the same thing again and again but Richard seemed to struggle with the situation. Besides, she didn’t know why it mattered if the woman was his new frenemy Cara, the Mord’Sith was dead now. Richard hadn’t given her too many details about what happened to him in the future - it seemed to be a painful memory – but Kahlan couldn't understand the obsession he had with Cara ever since. Like her sister, she could barely differentiate the Mord’Sith, most of them blonde and all of them pretty and evil… It wasn’t jealousy - she had started to realize that what she felt for Richard was now deep, strong friendship and nothing else – but regular annoyance.</p><p>“Perhaps you shouldn’t have killed her.” Richard declared. “We could have questioned her about…”</p><p>“Excuse me?” Kahlan interrupted him, her voice cold and hard. “She was part of the Mother Confessor’s assassination and you wanted me to do what? Stop fighting and invite her for supper?”</p><p>“Of course not, I’m sorry,” Richard backtracked. “I didn’t mean to…”</p><p>“Kahlan, I’m sorry,” Dennee called for her attention. “But we need to appoint a new Mother Confessor.”</p><p>Kahlan was grateful for the interruption. She glared at Richard who at least had the good grace to look sheepish before focusing on her sister. “I agree but shouldn’t we wait until after the funeral?”</p><p>“If Darken Rahl is back, we can’t really have a big ceremony.” Confessor Erin stated.</p><p>“Besides, at this point,” Confessor Alana added. “The choice would be nothing more than a formality.”</p><p>Kahlan frowned in confusion. “What do you mean?”</p><p>Dennee smiled at her sister and took her hands in hers. “We want you to be the next Mother Confessor, sister. There is no one we trust more than you to bring peace to Aydindril and the Midlands.”</p><p>“Are you sure?” Kahlan looked at her sister then at the other confessors for confirmation. They all nodded before bowing to her. “I’m… I’m honored. I’ll try to make you proud.” She wished she could be happier about the news. It was the greatest honor and privilege of her life and yet, it didn’t feel earned. She inherited the title because blood was shed, it was nothing to rejoice about. Still, Kahlan was ready to fight to free her homeland, no matter the cost…</p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>Their hope for peace had been short-lived and the war between D’Hara and the Midlands was now raging on. The Mord’Sith that Kahlan had confessed was right, after killing the Mother Confessor, Darken Rahl made his way to D’Hara to claim his throne back. He didn’t waste any time after that, sending armies toward the Midlands to finish the annexation of the territory.</p><p>Kahlan wasn’t like her predecessor, she wasn’t scared of breaking the rules of tradition if it meant protecting the people of the Midlands. She refused to go into hiding with the rest of her kind like Mother Serena wanted them to do when Darken got more powerful. She was ready to stand her ground, to raise a proper army and fight back.</p><p>If Kahlan thought she was busy before, it was nothing compared to the work she had to do as the Mother Confessor. After sitting in judgment for most of the morning, Kahlan made her way to her study. To her surprise, Zedd was waiting for her.</p><p>“Zedd, what a nice surprise!” Kahlan hugged him. The wizard had also been busy since they came back to Aydindril and she missed having him around. “Are you here for a courtesy visit?”</p><p>“Not exactly.” Zedd sat down and motioned for Kahlan to do the same. “Richard told me you were reluctant about using…” He cleared his throat a bit awkwardly. “The Rada’Han… So I searched the library of the Wizard’s Keep and found something that might interest you.” He put the old manuscript he was holding on the desk and pointed at a paragraph with his finger. “I’m sorry it took me so long but this is a very old book that was hidden in the forbidden part of the library…”</p><p>Kahlan leaned closer and read. “<em>The only magic more powerful than confession in this world is love</em>.” She frowned. “I don’t understand.”</p><p>“It means, my dear child,” Zedd smiled brightly. “That if Richard and you truly love each other, you cannot confess him.”</p><p>“I…I don’t know what to say.” Kahlan stared at the manuscript. She could feel a flicker of hope building inside her. As dark as the world might be at the moment, love was still a light she could follow. Maybe someday, Creator willing….</p><p>“This is not the reaction I was expecting.” Zedd’s bushy eyebrows knitted into a frown.</p><p>“I’m sorry. I appreciate the work you put into this and I thank you for it but Richard and I…” Richard had respected her wishes and gave her some space but Kahlan could see the sadness in his eyes whenever they were spending time together.</p><p>Zedd nodded wisely. “I’ve noticed.”</p><p>Kahlan stayed silent for a while. “I don’t want to hurt him.” After several sleepless nights, she had come to the conclusion that as much as she loved Richard, she wasn’t in love with him anymore. He was her first love but she felt like he wasn’t her last. He made her realize that despite being a confessor, she could love her mate, someone who wasn’t confessed and enslaved and she would always be grateful for that but it seemed like their love had run its course. They had been so cautious with their love, with their touches and embrace that the flame slowly died on its own.</p><p>“He wants to go and find Darken Rahl.” The wizard informed her. “You should probably talk to him if you don’t plan on following him.”</p><p>“Will you go with him?” Kahlan asked, already knowing the answer.</p><p>“He’s my grandson,” Zedd replied.</p><p>Kahlan nodded. “Very well. I’ll ask the housekeeper to prepare supplies for your journey.” She stood up. “Could you ask the guard at the door to find Dennee for me?” She was glad Richard had decided to go after Darken but she couldn’t go with him. She was the leader of the Midlands now and she refused to watch her homeland burn to the ground because Richard rejected his Rahl title. She didn’t blame him, she just wished they had discussed the matter first but the communication between them wasn’t as easy as it used to be.</p><p>Dennee joined her half a candle mark after Zedd left. “You wanted to see me, sister?”</p><p>“Yes. I am going to ask you something and you are free to decline but I need you to hear me out first…” Kahlan might not be able to go with Richard, but it didn’t mean she wanted him to leave without protection.</p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>After supper, Kahlan found Richard waiting for her in her bedchamber. “Richard.”</p><p>Richard stood up and smiled tiredly. “How are you?” He gave her a quick hug. “You look tired.”</p><p>Kahlan laughed wearily. “Tired is an understatement.”</p><p>“Well, you still look beautiful.” Richard complimented her.</p><p>“Flattering the Mother Confessor, Seeker.” Kahlan smiled and for a moment, it was almost like they were back on the road, back to a simpler time but she knew that it was just an illusion.</p><p>Richard chuckled. “Just stating the truth.” He turned serious. “I need to talk to you. I’m leaving tomorrow for D’Hara. I feel useless here and it looks like you don’t need me to rule Aydindril...”</p><p>“Richard…” His help had been valuable and it didn’t seem fair to let him think otherwise. “You…” Kahlan started.</p><p>Richard shook his head. “It’s okay. I understand now that I’m the Seeker, I should be on the road, helping people, not being here playing the role of the Mother Confessor’s mate… We both have our duties but…” He sighed. “I know I said I would give you time but I need to know where we stand. Do you want to come with me?” He looked at her with hopeful eyes. “You could ask Dennee to take over for you while you’re gone and…”</p><p>“I can’t…” Kahlan interrupted gently.</p><p>“So, am I supposed to continue my journey without a confessor then? What if I need your skills, Kahlan?” Richard asked, his voice a mix of hurt and frustration. “Have you thought about that?”</p><p>“I have… That’s why I think Dennee should accompany you to D’Hara. She’s almost as good as me when it comes to fighting and confessing, and she’ll make a great counselor as well.” The Mother Confessor said before a tensed silence settled.</p><p>“But I don’t love her,” Richard replied with a calmer tone despite his eyes getting glassy. He stepped closer and tried to take Kahlan’s hand but she quickly took a step backward to avoid the touch.</p><p>“And this is exactly why you should go with her,” Kahlan stated resolutely as she crossed her arms.</p><p>“I understand,” Richard answered dejectedly. He silently looked at her for a moment. “Once I kill Darken, is there a place for me here by your side?”</p><p>“I love you, Richard, but I’m not in love with you anymore.” Kahlan instantly saw the pain in his eyes and this time, she was the one reaching out to take his hand. “I’ve never meant to hurt you. Sometimes life…” She stopped, thinking better than giving him platitude. “I’ll always cherish what we had and I hope someday you can forgive me so I can keep you as my friend.”</p><p>Richard pulled his hand away. He opened then closed his mouth, as if trying to find the words to answer but nothing came out. He nodded and wordlessly left the room.</p><p>Now alone, Kahlan let herself cry, for the people loved and lost and for the lives that she wouldn’t get to live…</p><p>The next time the sun rose above Aydindril, Richard, Dennee, and Zedd had already long since left the city.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>A/N : We want to thank you all for the overwhelming support! We really didn't expect the fandom to still be so active so it's a nice surprise. We hope you'll stay with us till the end of this journey.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The first time her army faced the one of D’Hara’s, Kahlan felt useless. She watched the battlefield from a hill above as her soldiers fought. It was nothing like facing a dozen men in the middle of the wood, everything was bigger, bloodier, and more violent. The stench of death in the air almost made her queasy. She wanted to do something, to help instead of staying on her horse away from the danger but her advisors had insisted that her place wasn’t among the soldiers. It felt wrong to send people fighting without being there by their side, guiding them.</p>
<p>At the next battle, Kahlan was there with her men but it didn’t make her task easier. Yes, she could order them and switch strategy more easily but she was also on the front line to watch them die. Some of them were so focused on protecting her instead of fighting that it cost them their life. She didn’t want that; she didn’t want them to be scared of being confessed if she got hurt. She was a good warrior, she needed them to see her as a general, not as a royal that must be defended at all cost.</p>
<p>Kahlan fought hard, stabbing and confessing every d’Haran soldier coming her way. They were gaining ground, at least until the Mord’Sith joined and then, the tide turned. As yet another self-appointed guard fell next to her, Kahlan knew she had to retreat. One of her advisors appeared at her side and begged her to leave. She followed him into the forest but after a few steps, he stumbled to the ground with an arrow in his chest. She kneeled down next to him and put pressure on his wound but it was a mistake because for the first time in a year, since she stopped traveling with Richard and Zedd, nobody was watching her back.</p>
<p>Kalhan heard the screaming of the agiel before feeling it on her back. She cried in pain and reached for her dagger but another blow struck her across the shoulder. All she saw was a blur of blonde hair and the hint of a smirk on plump lips before an agiel hit her heart and everything went black.</p>
<p>A few candle marks later, Kahlan woke up with a start in the Confessor’s palace, in her bedchamber. Panting, she quickly touched her chest to feel her heart; it was beating like a drum. She was alive. She frowned. “How…” She murmured. She felt fine, great even, like all the pain she had felt during battle was gone. She slowly rolled up the left sleeve of her shift and removed the cloth around her arm. She looked for the nasty cut she had received while fighting but it was gone. In fact, all her cuts and bruises were gone, fully healed. Her fingers caressed her skin, smooth and untarnished.</p>
<p>Suddenly, her chambermaid entered the room. “Mother Confessor, you’re awake!”</p>
<p>Kahlan hastily pulled her sleeve down. “Alice.” She looked at the young, blonde woman, hoping she could make sense of things. “What happened to me?”</p>
<p>“Scouts found you unconscious in the forest,” Alice explained, filling a cup of water from the pitcher on the bedside table before offering it to Kahlan. “You scared us, we thought you were dead.”</p>
<p>“I was…” Kahlan said quietly before accepting the drink.</p>
<p>“Sorry, my lady?” The maid stared at her in confusion.</p>
<p>“Nothing.” Kahlan forced a smile. “Could you find the healer and tell him I request his presence?”</p>
<p>Alice frowned. She reached out to touch the Mother Confessor’s arm then remembered herself and yanked her hand back. “Are you feeling ill?”</p>
<p>“No.” Kahlan took the woman’s hand and squeezed it reassuringly. The last thing she wanted was to worry her maid. As discreet as Alice was, she knew the council was watching her closely and she didn’t need them to question her choices even more. “I just wish to speak to him.”</p>
<p>“Very well, Mother Confessor.” Alice bowed her head. “I’ll summon him right away.”</p>
<p>“Thank you.” Once she was alone again, Kahlan sighed deeply. She tried to remember if something out of the ordinary had happened during the fight but she couldn’t think of anything.</p>
<p>The healer knocked on her door half a candle mark later. The man told her that she was fine and the wizard she consulted after him said as much. Everyone was glad to see her alive and well but Kahlan knew something was wrong. She knew her heart had stopped in that forest and no wizard could have brought her back to life. It didn’t make any sense. Maybe she was cursed…</p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>Kahlan had learned from her mistakes and for her next battle, she chose a different strategy. She had selected a few men and their group was going to attack the D’haran soldiers on their flank instead of charging in the middle of her troops.</p>
<p>Her plan worked well but after getting rid of a quad, they once again ran into a group of Mord’Sith. Without hesitation, Kahlan grabbed one of them by the throat, a short brunette, and confessed her. Unfortunately, there was no time to savor her revenge as she caught a movement from the corner of her eye. She swirled around, daggers in hands, and came face to face with a familiar blonde.</p>
<p>It was Cara, the woman who, according to Richard, wasn’t so bad. As they started fighting each other, Kahlan was suddenly hit by the memory of her death. She would recognize the smirk on the blonde’s face anywhere; Cara was the one who killed her. She didn’t know if she should laugh about how, once again, Richard had been wrong about someone’s motive or just be angry at him for being so gullible.</p>
<p>“Is that all you’ve got, Mother Confessor? I expected more.” Cara sneered as she backslapped Kahlan. “The seeker made it sound like only the Creator could compete with you.”</p>
<p>Kahlan glared at her as she wiped away the blood from her lower lip. “I look forward to seeing you die on your knees.” She lowered one of her daggers and thrust the blade into Cara’s side just as the Mord’Sith stabbed her chest with her agiel. They both moaned in pain.</p>
<p>Cara pushed her away. “Would that excite you?” She smirked. “The Mother Confessor taking pleasure in pain,” She chuckled. “You would have made a great Mord’Sith.”</p>
<p>“You’re the only one enjoying this,” Kahlan said coldly. She charged forward but Cara blocked her dagger with her agiel.</p>
<p>“I’d enjoy it even more if I could watch you die gasping for air like you did last time.” Cara smiled wolfishly. “I thought you were dead. Guess I should have slit your throat. I won’t make the same mistake twice.”</p>
<p>“You tried to do the same to my sister Dennee.” Kahlan declared. “And I will kill you for that.”</p>
<p>“You’re welcome to try.” Without pause, Cara tackled Kahlan to the ground and hit the Mother Confessor’s chest with her agiel.</p>
<p>Kalhan gasped. She was so focused on Cara confirming her death that she didn’t see the attack coming. Cara was now straddling her and Kahlan struggled against the blonde’s strong hold. She didn’t want to die again. Only the Creator knew why she was still there but she refused to let Cara win. She gathered her strength and head-butted her. As Cara leaned back, Kahlan reached out for her dagger that had fallen next to her and slammed it into Cara’s thigh. The Mord’Sith barely twitched at the pain but there was fury in her eyes.</p>
<p>Cara removed the dagger from her thigh and stabbed Kahlan’s left hand to the ground with it. Kahlan cried out but before the blonde could hit her again, her free hand reached Cara’s throat and she used her power of confession. She saw Cara’s eyes turn black and watched with surprise as the blonde’s face went from rage to anguish. She heard Cara murmur a sorry with a tear running down her face before her body collapsed on top of Kahlan’s.</p>
<p>With a painful cry, Kahlan removed the dagger pinning her hand to the ground then pushed Cara’s body to the side. She glanced around to see if anyone had witnessed their fight but they seemed to be alone. It looked like her men had kept moving forward and it was a good thing. Before she could stand, she felt hands lifting her up and quickly recognized one of her soldiers.</p>
<p>“Mother Confessor, are you alright?” The man questioned wide-eyed.</p>
<p>Kahlan looked down at her blood-covered dress and sighed. It looked bad but she was fine, she could already feel her hand healing. She quickly hid it behind her back before answering. “I’m alright, what about the others?”</p>
<p>“Our surprise attack worked and we were able to push their army back to the border.” The soldier informed her. “Your strategy was the right one, my lady.” He added proudly.</p>
<p>They might have won that battle but the war was only starting. As she walked back to the main battlefield site, she saw all the dead bodies, from both sides, and the wounded waiting for her commands, waiting for words of comfort Kahlan knew wouldn’t make a difference. She should be happy about Cara’s death, about all the D’Harans’ deaths but she couldn’t. She was starting to think there was no winners in war. Everyone had lost something along the way and it was folly to think they would get out of it unscathed. She might have healing powers now but not her army. She didn’t want to be the only one left standing when it was all over. All she could think about was that, if Richard couldn’t take Darken Rahl down, she would have to do something about it herself.</p>
<p>At night, in her bedchamber, Kahlan slept restlessly. She dreamed of Cara, of their fight, of the blonde’s empty eyes coming back to life in the middle of the bloody battlefield. She woke up in the middle of the night, panting and confused. Her dream was blurry but clear enough. Why would she dream about the Mord’Sith? Cara wasn’t the first one she had killed by confession. And why would she see the woman coming back from the dead? She needed to consult a wizard again, maybe even Zedd if it kept going because something was clearly wrong with her.</p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>Darken Rahl must have been angry after his last defeat because barely a week later, several battalions marched toward the villages Kahlan had freed with her army. Once again, the Mother Confessor found herself on the battlefield, fighting Darken’s soldiers with her group of guards.</p>
<p>After confessing one too many D’Haran soldiers, Kahlan knew she had to step back and let her Han recharge. As she walked to the side of the village to safely catch her breath, she froze like she had seen a ghost.</p>
<p>In front of her, standing in all her glory was Cara, a smirk on her face as she stared right back at Kahlan.</p>
<p>“Mother Confessor.” Cara greeted contemptuously.</p>
<p>“I saw you die!” Kahlan frowned in confusion. She knew the breath of life couldn’t bring a Mord’Sith back after confession so there must be another explanation. “I confessed you.”</p>
<p>“Well, I guess you’re not really good at it.” The blonde sneered. “I wonder why your pathetic sisters named you the Mother Confessor if you can’t even confess a Mord’Sith.”</p>
<p>“You were dead.” Kahlan trembled. Did her new healing ability affect her confessor’s powers? It would be a disaster. How could she be the Mother Confessor if she was slowly losing her power of confession?</p>
<p>“Not happy to see me I assume.” Cara put a hand to her chest, faking hurt. “You wound me.”</p>
<p>Kahlan’s frown deepened. “Only love can protect you from confession!”</p>
<p>Cara snorted. “Please, don’t flatter yourself.”</p>
<p>“And yet here you are, alive.” Kahlan pointed out. It didn’t make sense. Could they both be cursed?</p>
<p>“So are you,” Cara declared. “And I remember killing you in that forest.”</p>
<p>They stared at each other, each one gauging the other's reaction at this new revelation. The Mord’Sith’s face was unreadable but for a moment, Kahlan was sure she saw confusion in Cara’s eyes. </p>
<p>“Are we going to fight or are you going to stare at me all day?” Cara asked annoyed as she grabbed her agiel.</p>
<p>Kahlan pulled out her daggers. “The outcome will be the same as last time.”</p>
<p>“I wouldn’t be so sure about that, Mother Confessor.” Cara smiled devilishly before charging forward.</p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>After killing Cara and being killed by her a few more times, Kahlan was starting to feel like she was losing her mind. She didn’t know who to turn to. Dennee was traveling with Richard, the wizards and healers of the kingdom all insisted that she was fine, and the other confessors would only think that she had gone mad if she tried to explain the situation.</p>
<p>Kahlan grabbed the journey book on her desk and reached for her special quill. Her friends might not be in Aydindril but she could still write to them. She had used the magic book Zedd had left for her a few times since Richard left. At first, the conversations were short and concise with him but it had slowly improved. She could tell Richard was trying to be a friend, however, after talking to Dennee, it seemed like he was still holding on to the hope that, once everything would be over, they could try again. Kahlan didn’t want to risk the tentative peace they had found by telling Richard it wouldn’t happen so she ignored the remark.</p>
<p>She wrote back and forth with Richard and Dennee before asking for Zedd. After making him swear to keep their conversation between them and tear away the pages once they were done, Kahlan asked the wizard if he was aware of a spell that could prevent someone from getting hurt or just heal someone spontaneously. Zedd’s verbose answer could be summarized by a ‘no’.</p>
<p>It looked like Cara was the only one who could understand what she was going through. No matter what powerful magic was afflicting her, Cara was a victim of it too. The woman was all she could think about lately, especially at night. Their last two deaths had been different. They had spoken more before fighting, even if she could tell Cara was reluctant, and once they were both tired and bloody, it felt like neither of them had the heart to give the final blow.</p>
<p>Kahlan was tired of playing that game of cat and mouse. She needed answers.</p>
<p>Now, how was she supposed to have an honest conversation with the Mord’Sith she had been fighting and killing for almost two seasons?</p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>The thing about great battles was that their stories were carried throughout centuries with glory, their legacies were passed from the lips of bards, poets, and elders to each new generation, songs were sung and time remembered the braves. But the thing about the greatest battle of all was quite different… Once the sun set on the battlefield, nobody ever found out about it because not a single soul was left to tell the tale…</p>
<p>Kahlan was nervous. This was far from being her first battle, in fact, she had become so accustomed to wearing her armor that some nights, she would forget to unfasten all the straps and buckles until she was ready to lie in bed. Even though it was the end of winter, it had been snowing all night and it was more difficult for the soldiers to maneuver in this weather. But this wasn’t why Kahlan was worried, no it was because this was the first time that she was in charge of such a big army. Five battalions stood by her side, most of them were volunteers from all over the Midlands, others were confessed enemies or well-trained veterans, and even some of them, men who had just began shaving their beards a summer or two ago.</p>
<p>The most difficult moment of the day for Kahlan wasn’t putting on her armor or walking through the high slopes of fresh snow, it wasn’t even the soldiers sharpening their weapons… It was the waiting. They were standing on a valley between two of the highest mountains in the Midlands, everything around them was quiet, too quiet in fact. The snow was thick on the branches of the trees, causing it to collapse on the ground as the soldiers passed too close to the trees. Each sound was absorbed instantly and only the thumping of boots reassured Kahlan that time hadn’t stopped around them.</p>
<p>Their waiting ended quickly that day. Their enemy was approaching fast and just like they had been trampling around the paths, they could feel the Earth beneath their feet starting to vibrate and then, the white horizon turned black with helmets and armors, with an army wearing different colors than theirs.</p>
<p>For a split moment, when both armies looked at each other, they all knew what would follow and the nerves were betraying some of the younger ones as their swords or spears started trembling ever so slightly. Even though there was more than half a league between both sides, Kahlan could feel Cara was there, watching for her as well. Each time she would meet the blonde, she would feel the same flutter in her stomach. After the first couple of times that Cara killed her, Kahlan learned to pay close attention to that feeling.</p>
<p>A battle cry sounded from somewhere at the flanks. Kahlan wasn’t sure if it was someone from her side of the field or the echo from the enemy’s lines but it was enough for one soldier to take a step forward and all the rest followed… The first steps were fast but hesitant, and with each following one, the soldiers grew bolder, angrier, and more eager to fight and win or if not, fight to the death and die the most honorable of deaths.</p>
<p>When the armies clashed, a loud thump sounded in the valley and the echo of clashing metal engulfed the previously quiet surroundings. Swords were broken in half, spears were twisted and buried in the ground or in someone’s chest or neck. In the heat of the battle, every man stood for himself and many fell to the ground the moment they clashed with the rest, serving as a stepping stone for those behind them.</p>
<p>A bristling arrow almost cost Kahlan her life had it not been for one of her personal guards that stood in front of it and dropped dead on the cold ground. By the time the sun was already high in the sky, only half of the men on the battlefield – the ones who hadn’t fled - were still alive and fighting, metal against metal, and hundreds of agonizing cries overtook the valley. The barbarian cruelty of the men only served to feed the fire for revenge in each of their beating hearts…</p>
<p>Just as the sun was beginning to set behind one of the peaks, Kahlan pushed her dagger into the neck of one of the few remaining D’Haran soldiers. It was almost over but when she looked around to find Cara and kill her again, the sight around her made her freeze in her spot. She had lost herself in the sounds of the battle, in the desire to fight and triumph, she had given into her darkest side, the one she knew she had to keep at bay. Kahlan had been so blinded by her blood rage that she hadn’t noticed until now that the field around her couldn’t even be called a field. They were fighting on top of dead soldiers, so many dead soldiers that the white snow around them had turned into a crimson sea of death. Turning around, all Kahlan could see was throats gashed open, swords buried to the hilt in armors that couldn’t be differentiated, and then there was Cara.</p>
<p>The blonde was standing some mere twenty feet away from her. Kahlan saw her just as Cara was breaking the neck of a soldier, his body falling limp and lifeless on the side. In the distance, a small group of some twenty soldiers was left battling with the last of the Mord’Sith. They were the main reason so many of Kahlan’s men lay dead on the ground but it was also true that numerous of their sisters had fallen in battle as well. Now it was just a group of ten weary women against twice as many crippled men… The soldiers didn’t stand a chance but they still gripped their swords and attacked.</p>
<p>Here they were again, Kahlan and Cara, one facing the other and wondering which one would emerge victorious this time around. Only now, both were worn-out and their bodies ached. Kahlan was tired and she could see Cara was just as exhausted as she was. They were both muddy and filthy with so much blood and grime that it would be hard to recognize them in the crowd.</p>
<p>The blonde didn’t hesitate for a moment before straightening her stance and shooting Kahlan a defying look. It was a dare, a taunt, telling her that even though they were barely standing on their own two feet, she could still fight her. A statement that a Mord’Sith was superior to any and everyone else, even the Mother Confessor. And Kahlan was not immune to pride either, she wanted to make sure everyone knew how powerful she was, especially a Mord’Sith who was too stubborn to stay dead.</p>
<p>Cara tightened the grip on her agiel and attacked Kahlan, connecting her weapon with her body but the confessor quickly retaliated with her dagger and sliced Cara’s leather, leaving a bloody mark which quickly began healing again.</p>
<p>“You’ve been practicing, Mother Confessor.” Cara tantalized with a daring smirk and ducked as Kahlan attacked her once more.</p>
<p>By now, they knew each other’s favorite moves and the tactics the other favored, their fights were almost like a dance between old lovers, they were familiar with each other in ways that very few people could even begin to imagine. Maybe it was because their dreams always seemed to unite them or maybe it was because they had already killed each other too many times to count, or maybe they just paid too much attention to the other.</p>
<p>Kahlan pushed Cara backward and she tripped on one of the dead soldiers, losing balance. The Mother Confessor used that moment to jump on her, pinning her to the ground. From the corner of her eye, she saw a dark blonde Mord’Sith break the neck of the last soldier still standing. For a moment, she wondered if they were going to come and help Cara but when the same blonde took a step in her direction, the others pulled her back. They stayed rooted to their spot, watching. “This has to stop!” Kahlan said out of nowhere as she sat with her legs on either side of Cara. The blades of her daggers were grazing the sides of Cara’s neck, making it impossible to move without cutting herself.</p>
<p>“Are you feeling tired, Mother Confessor? Is the comfort of your palace making you soft?” Cara taunted her still.</p>
<p>“Look around you, Cara! How much longer are we going to keep doing this? Keep leading innocents to their death just so we can settle a war none of us started!” Kahlan declared, this time her eyes were pleading for Cara to at least give her a chance to say more than a couple of words without having an agiel torturing her again.</p>
<p>“And what do you propose exactly? A truce so we can sit around a fire and have a little chat like housewives?” Cara challenged but relaxed her stance. She wasn’t fighting to be released anymore.</p>
<p>“Actually, yes!” Kahlan answered, almost amused by the woman’s wits.</p>
<p>“I would rather fight a gar!” Cara retorted, slapping away one of Kahlan’s daggers. She rolled over so she was on top of the Mother Confessor. She lifted her agiel to hit her but Kahlan blocked her.</p>
<p>“What are you doing?” Kahlan pushed her away and scrambled to her feet.</p>
<p>“Ending this conversation!” Cara stood with a kip-up and charged the Mother Confessor.</p>
<p>Kahlan rushed to grab one of her daggers, the other apparently lost among the mess of blood and bodies. She took a defensive stance, stopping attacks instead of starting them. For a moment, she had thought she would be able to get through to Cara but once again, the woman had fooled her. After another painful blow to her stomach, she decided that she had enough. She punched Cara and wrapped her hand around her throat. “Don’t make me kill you again.”</p>
<p>“Mord’Sith don’t beg,” Cara smirked.</p>
<p>“Fine.” As Kahlan unleashed her power of confession, she felt a knife piercing her chest. She looked down, her eyes still black, and saw her missing dagger. She let go of her hold on Cara and the woman fell to her knees, gasping for air. Kahlan was vaguely aware of the rest of the Mord’Sith running away into the woods but she was more focused on the pain in her chest. She gathered her strength to pull the dagger out before falling on the ground next to Cara. She looked at the blonde lying next to her then everything went dark. When Kahlan opened her eyes again, all she could hear was the silence of the battlefield. She turned her head to the side and saw Cara, sitting next to her with an unreadable expression on her face. She sat up and cleared her throat. “Now that we both died again, can we talk?” She stood up and offered her hand to help Cara in a gesture of peace.</p>
<p>Cara ignored it and stood up. She stared at Kahlan and grunted in agreement.</p>
<p>“Good. Let’s go somewhere a bit less… bloody.” Kahlan retrieved her daggers and started walking.</p>
<p>Cara sheathed her agiel on her hip and wordlessly followed Kahlan into the woods.</p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>They walked in silence for a little while as Kahlan kept stealing glances at Cara. She had tried to start a conversation several times but always stopped herself. Since the sun was down, they decided to take shelter in a small cave to protect themselves from the cold.</p>
<p>“Can you build a fire? I’m going to gather winterberries and nuts for us to eat.” Kahlan stated. She didn’t have her bag or any supplies so whatever edibles she could find would have to do for supper. She also didn’t know how long they would stay together and talk so she wanted to be prepared.</p>
<p>“I am not your slave, Mother Confessor.” Cara snapped. “Do it yourself.”</p>
<p>Kahlan looked skyward, silently asking the spirits for patience. They weren’t off to a good start and she almost dreaded their next conversation about their… predicament. “I know you are not my maid, because unlike you, she is useful. I’m just asking you to help me build the camp so we can talk about the situation.”</p>
<p>“I have nothing to say.” Cara declared, looking around as if she was bored.</p>
<p>“Why did you follow me here then?” Kahlan asked harshly, already losing her calm. Cara answered with a glare but she ignored her and went back to the woods to find food. To her relief, a small fire was burning when she came back. She decided not to comment on it to avoid another fight. She sat in front of the fire and put some of the fruits she had collected in front of Cara. The Mord’Sith looked at them suspiciously. “It’s not poison.” When Cara made no move to eat the offered fruits, she sighed. “Fine, suit yourself.”</p>
<p>A tense silence settled between them until Cara groaned. “Are you done? You said you wanted to talk, so talk!”</p>
<p>“I don’t know where to start…” Kahlan had spent her time alone going over several conversation starters but ‘So, you can’t die either, huh?’ wasn’t really a good one.</p>
<p>“Then you are wasting my time.” Cara stood up.</p>
<p>“No, wait!” It was beneath Kahlan to beg the woman to stay but she had to say something to keep Cara here. “I don’t know why we are suddenly… immune to death but I know that whatever it is, you are part of it too.”</p>
<p>“I am not part of anything. Mord’Sith and Confessors are enemies and that’s all we are to each other.” Cara declared.</p>
<p>Kahlan stood up too to be at her level. “Then how can you explain what happened to us?” She crossed her arms.</p>
<p>“You cursed me! This is all your fault.” Cara stated. “Magic isn’t for little girls so just ask one of your wizards to break the spell so I can kill you once and for all.”</p>
<p>“Why would I have asked a wizard to curse you?” Kahlan frowned.</p>
<p>Cara shrugged. “Because of Lord Rahl?”</p>
<p>“Darken…”</p>
<p>“I’m talking about the Seeker,” Cara cut her off. “Not Darken Rahl.”</p>
<p> “Oh, so you know who he is…” Kahlan was so engrossed in the war that she hadn’t stopped to consider Richard’s journey to D’Hara. With Commander Trimack at his side, the news of his lineage must have spread. “You seem to forget that I am cursed too. How do you explain that?”</p>
<p>“Payback for your wrongdoings?” Cara suggested with a smirk.</p>
<p>“Payb…” Kahlan laughed. It was hollow and humorless. She had done some bad things in her life, especially lately but she hoped the spirits knew it was for the greater good. She sighed wearily. “I didn’t curse you. I didn’t ask for any of this…”</p>
<p>“Because I did?” Cara questioned incredulously.</p>
<p>“You’re a Mord’Sith,” Kahlan reminded her. “You deserve death, not immortality.”</p>
<p>Cara snorted. “Confessors think they are above everyone else but they aren’t. You parade around town with your fake compassion but you’re not exempt from sins.” She said with disdain. “You confess people without thinking about the damages. You do not care if your victim turns into a useless rag doll, just an empty vessel lying around the battlefield, at least, if they are ‘lucky’ enough to survive.”</p>
<p>“I didn’t know you care,” Kahlan answered with barely concealed anger. She shouldn’t let Cara get under her skin but her words stung. It was the longest she had heard the woman speak but now she was regretting ever asking her to talk. “You torture and kill people without a second thought.”</p>
<p>“At least torture ends but your slaves just go mad from their inability to serve their mistress.” Cara pointed out.</p>
<p>Kahlan took a menacing step closer. “I don’t think I am better than you, I know I am.”</p>
<p>“Really, Mother Confessor?” Cara sneered. “Because you just proved my point.”</p>
<p>Kahlan slapped her. It was an impulsive reaction but she didn’t regret it, even if it wouldn’t help the situation. “I…”</p>
<p>“If you wanted another fight, we could have stayed on the battlefield,” Cara said in a monotone voice.</p>
<p>“Is that what you want? We can heal, we can come back to life, what would be the point? I asked you to come here so we could find a solution but you don’t seem to care in the least.” Kahlan sat back down and stayed silent. She could feel Cara’s watchful eyes on her but she needed a moment to gather herself. “I’ve asked all the healers and wizards of the Midlands, nobody knows anything about our affliction. Have you asked anyone?” She didn’t tell them too much or even that it was for her, just in case, but she knew it wouldn’t have changed their answers.</p>
<p>Cara kept staring at the confessor. “No, why would I? It’s your…”</p>
<p>“I told you already,” Kahlan interrupted her with a glare. “I’m not responsible for what happened to us.”</p>
<p>“Then who is?” Cara asked impatiently, raising her hands up in frustration.</p>
<p>“I don’t know!” Kahlan retorted.</p>
<p>Cara rolled her eyes. “I think we’re done here. I’ll see you on our next battle, Mother Confessor. Bring your sharpest daggers.”  </p>
<p>“Cara, please.” Kahlan pleaded. How far she had fallen to hold on to the Mord’Sith for dear life. She was tired and lonely. Cara was the only one who could understand her and yet the woman refused to acknowledge their problem. “Whether we like it or not, we’re in this together. We need to call a truce until we find a remedy.” </p>
<p>Cara brushed a speck of dirt off her crimson leather. “I have better things to do.”</p>
<p>“Like what? Going back to your sisters?” Kahlan questioned. “What do you think will happen once they realize something is wrong with you?” She could tell the general of her army was starting to be suspicious after seeing her survive a blow that would have been fatal to anyone else. He was too afraid to mention it to her but she knew the Mord’Sith would have no qualms about asking Cara for answers.</p>
<p>“Nothing is wrong with me!” Cara growled.</p>
<p>“You cannot die and it has nothing to do with the breath of life. You can’t just ignore it and wait until it goes away because we both know it won’t. The sooner we start looking for answers, the sooner you will go back to your life.” Kahlan noticed how her comment made Cara pause.</p>
<p>They stared at each other for a while until Cara spoke. “If I accept, what is your plan?”</p>
<p>“I…” Kahlan was taken by surprise. She hadn’t expected Cara to agree. She hated not being able to read her. She didn’t have a plan but she couldn’t tell her that. “I’ve heard of a few wizards in the Westland that we could visit.”</p>
<p>Cara scoffed. “You call that a plan?”</p>
<p>“It’s a start. We can stay here tonight, leave at dawn and go to Aydindril for supplies and horses.” Kahlan suggested. She knew she had responsibilities and people to lead but she was sure her sisters and the council could manage without her for a fortnight.</p>
<p>Cara seemed to ponder her choices. “Let’s be clear, I do not trust you but since I don’t want to spend eternity with you, I suppose I can go to the Westland.”</p>
<p>Kahlan sighed in relief. She was starting to doubt they would ever reach an agreement. “We should try and get some sleep then.”</p>
<p>“I’ll take watch,” Cara stated.</p>
<p>Kahlan looked at her up and down in suspicion. “You better not try anything while I sleep.” She warned coldly.</p>
<p>“Or what? You’ll kill me.” There was a hint of amusement on Cara’s face.</p>
<p>“You might not be able to stay dead but I know you can feel pain.” Kahlan reminded her.</p>
<p>Cara shrugged. “Pain is nothing to a Mord’Sith.”</p>
<p>Kahlan rolled her eyes but didn’t answer. She lay down close to the fire and closed her eyes. No matter how hard she tried, she just couldn't seem to find sleep.  She could feel Cara’s presence next to her and it unnerved her. Still, she must have fallen asleep at some point because when she woke up, confused and cold, the fire was only embers and Cara was gone.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>From Cara’s POV. The fic is mostly from Kahlan’s pov, but now and then, we explore Cara’s.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Cara was marching back to her temple, trying not to stumble on a root since it was still dark. She could barely see where she was going but the risk of falling face-first on the ground was better than staying with the Mother Confessor. It wasn’t like she could really hurt herself anymore anyway…</p>
<p>She used to be Darken Rahl’s most trusted Mord’Sith, the sister of the agiel that no one dared to question, and here she was, a shadow of herself, a warrior waiting for an honorable death that would never come. She had been able to take back control of her life for a while but once again, someone had taken her choices away. She wished she could go back to a few seasons ago, when things were simpler, when she wasn’t cursed and forced to interact with the Mother Confessor…</p>
<p>Her thoughts started drifting and slowly, memories of the past took shape in her mind.</p>
<p>
  <em>‘After her short-lived alliance with the Seeker, she thought things were finally looking up for her. She became the leader of the Mord’Sith and she was free to do as she pleased. Of course, some sisters weren’t happy about her decisions, like Triana, but after getting her point across with her agiel, they all fell in line. Or so she thought… </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>She quickly realized that Triana wasn’t ready to accept her leadership and was plotting behind her back. Not trusting any of her fellow Mord’Sith, she decided to spy on her traitorous sister and it didn’t take long for her to figure out her plan. Triana had found a wizard well versed in dark magic and they were planning on bringing Lord Rahl back. She was surprised to hear the man wasn’t dead but simply stuck in the future, just like she had been with the Seeker. She knew her time was running out but there was nothing she could do to stop them. She tried to kill the wizard but he teleported somewhere else just before her final blow. She had wondered at some point if he was the one responsible for her curse but it was unlikely. Why make your enemy invincible? It didn’t make any sense. Besides, she heard from another sister that Triana killed him as soon as he brought Lord Rahl back into the present.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>With Lord Rahl back into the picture, she was aware that she had to leave the People’s palace as soon as possible. She had betrayed him and the last thing she wanted was to rot in a cell, being tortured by Triana over and over again for it. She was familiar with the hierarchy of the sisters of the agiel and she knew some temples were considered second-rate in quality. They were often the last to know what was going on in the empire so it was perfect for her. Eventually, she found a temple in the mountain, close to the border with the Midlands, close to Aydindril where no one would expect her to be. She had been surprised to find Dahlia there. The woman was a good fighter and didn’t belong in this type of temple, but she couldn’t complain, it meant she had someone she could half count on. She stayed in the temple in relative peace until Lord Rahl ordered all his soldiers and Mord’Sith to invade the Midlands. That was when things really started to go downhill.’</em>
</p>
<p>Cara was so engrossed in her thoughts that she didn’t see the rock near her foot. She tripped and fell face first in the dirt. She groaned; it wasn’t her day. She stood up and dusted off her leather. As she did so, she noticed the blood on her hand. It wasn’t hers but Kahlan’s. Thinking about the Mother Confessor brought another wave of memories.</p>
<p>
  <em>‘She did what no Mord’Sith before her had been able to do in a long time, kill a Mother Confessor. The woman was pretty and a skilled warrior, it was almost a shame to do it, almost... She felt proud at first, like some part of her old, ruthless self was back but it didn’t last long. Something heavy slowly crept into her heart and she couldn’t seem to get rid of it. It was like Kahlan Amnell had poisoned her just before drawing her last breath. She ignored the feeling until she was faced with the Mother Confessor again. The woman should have been dead and yet, she stood in front of her as if nothing happened. They fought once again but this time, she didn’t win. The second she felt the Confessor’s touch on her neck, she knew her death would be agony. Her body reacted violently, overwhelmed by the prickling of thousands of needles under her skin. She felt the raging fire of confession consume her and it was worse than all the tortures she had endured before, worse even than any pain she had ever inflicted. For a split moment, before her eyes closed, a thought had flashed into her mind. Regrets… It left a bad taste in her mouth.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>The problem was, she didn’t stay dead. When she opened her eyes again, it wasn’t the Keeper she saw but the dead bodies lying around her. As she laid there, motionless, she felt her heartbeat stronger and the blood in her veins slowly start to move again. After that, she convinced herself that one of her sisters must have given her the breath of life - even though it was technically impossible - and went back to the temple. Once in the privacy of her chambers, she grabbed a knife and stabbed her hand. She watched, enthralled, as the wound closed itself. Whatever happened to her, she was sure that it was the Mother Confessor’s fault.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Mord’Sith didn’t have dreams and yet, the woman dressed in white started to haunt her sleep. Finding the Mother Confessor on the battlefield became an obsession after that. She knew their fight always ended the same way but she couldn’t help it, even when she felt like she was losing a part of herself after each death. She had been trained to hate Confessors, to bring death and pain but apparently, even a Mord’Sith could get tired of killing the same person over and over again, or maybe it was just her, which was something that scared her more. Her sisters slowly grew suspicious about her lack of injuries and since she couldn’t afford to be seen as weak, she ignored whatever feelings were plaguing her heart and fought Kahlan harder. Unfortunately, the woman kept trying to engage with her at every turn. She had disregarded her attempt, at least until today…’</em>
</p>
<p>Cara’s musing was interrupted by the sight of her temple in the distance. Finally, she needed a bath and a meal. She wondered who had survived the slaughter of their last battle. When she entered the temple, the first person she met was Dahlia. The woman looked at her as if she was seeing a ghost.</p>
<p>“Cara! You’re alive. But…” Dahlia stared at her with wide eyes, surprise written all over her bruised face.</p>
<p>Cara held up a hand to order her to stay silent. “You left one of your sisters behind without checking if she was alive first, you should be punished for that.”</p>
<p>“You were dead,” Dahlia stated with a frown. “I saw the Mother Confessor confess you just before we left.”</p>
<p>Cara cursed under her breath. Her fights with the Mother Confessor had always taken place away from the main battle but this time, there were witnesses, some she couldn’t get rid of. She opened her mouth to tell Dahlia that she was delusional but more sisters gathered around her.</p>
<p>“We all saw you!” Garren declared as she stepped closer to Cara. “You shouldn’t be alive! It … it shouldn’t be impossible for you to walk around still!”</p>
<p>Cara smirked. With her death, Garren could have a chance of becoming the new leader of the temple but Cara was still here and she could see the jealousy in her sister’s eyes. She quickly closed the space between them. “Let me show you just how alive I am.” She said in a raspy voice and with a tight-lip smile. She brought her hand up and back-slapped Garren across her cheek. She watched in satisfaction as the other woman stumbled to her knees and bowed her head down. She grabbed Garren by the braid, angling her head up so their eyes could meet and spoke. “Now, I understand that a pathetic little worm like you would want to see me dead but as you can see, I’m very much alive. That wouldn’t be possible if I were in fact confessed.” Her voice was cold and authoritative. “Anyone else wants to test how alive I am?” She asked as she forced Garren back to the ground and glared at her sisters. All the Mord’Sith in the room averted their gazes and shook their heads. Cara had made her position clear and if they didn’t want to join their dead sisters of the agiel, they knew it was better to keep their mouth shut. “Dahlia, get me a fresh set of leathers and wait for me in my chambers.” Ignoring the whispers behind her, she slowly made her way to the baths.</p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>Cara was woken up abruptly by a set of leathers thrown at her. She must have dozed off, which wasn’t a surprise after the bloody day she had. She quickly sat up and reached for her agiel to deal with the intruder but relaxed when she realized it was only Dahlia. “What do you want?”</p>
<p>“Triana is here,” Dahlia announced. “Apparently, Garren informed her of your presence. I don’t know what you did since you refuse to tell me but I don’t think she’s here for a friendly visit.”</p>
<p>Cara jumped out of bed and hurriedly put her leather on. She knew why Triana was here, to bring her back to Darken Rahl and she had no intention of letting her do that. She couldn’t even imagine what they would do to her if they found out about her new ‘abilities’. “I need to leave.” She slid her agiel into her sheath and strapped her corset.</p>
<p>Dahlia frowned. “Since when are you afraid of her?”</p>
<p>Cara grabbed her by the throat. “I am not afraid of anyone.” They glared at each other until Cara let go. “I don’t have time for this.” She moved to the oak chest at the end of her bed and started gathering her meager belongings.</p>
<p>“Let me come with you.” Dahlia declared.</p>
<p>“What?” Cara stopped packing her bag. “Why?” The woman had shared her bed a few times, either for old time’s sake or simply to forget everything plaguing her mind but nothing too serious. She had made sure to keep her distance, to keep to herself in case Dahlia would betray her. They might have history but they were still Mord’Sith...</p>
<p>“D’Hara is in disarray.” Dahlia reached out and caressed Cara’s cheek. “Our Lord is only a shadow of himself and his brother isn’t worthy of the Mord’Sith’s allegiance. I have no reason to stay in this temple if you are not here.”</p>
<p>“You would betray your Lord after all these years?” Cara raised a defiant eyebrow.</p>
<p>“Let’s not pretend you are still serving him,” Dahlia said tauntingly. “You only seem interested in the Mother Confessor these days.”</p>
<p>Cara slapped her. “Watch your tongue!” She knew Dahlia wasn’t completely wrong but she didn’t need the reminder. Keeping her emotions at bay had been Cara’s most useful skill throughout the years. The only feeling she allowed was anger and it was a constant for her. It was safe to display anger because she understood it from the inside. It made her feel powerful, for a while at least. Anger and pride were the only emotions the Mord’Sith encouraged and the sisters often used them to communicate what couldn’t be said. Cara might not completely hate the Mother Confessor as strongly as she did before but it didn’t mean Dahlia had the right to comment on it.</p>
<p>Dahlia rolled her eyes and continued, unbothered. “I heard you call her name in your sleep.” She searched Cara’s eyes. “Did you make a pact with her? Is that why you’re still al…”</p>
<p>Suddenly, the doors of Cara’s chambers slammed open to reveal Triana. “Here she is!” She charged forward and knocked Dahlia out with her agiel before anyone could react. Then, she stepped away from the unconscious body and gave Cara her fakest smile. “Cara!”</p>
<p>It was too late for a silent escape now so Cara straightened her posture. “Were you missing me? You could have written.” She discreetly glanced at Dahlia. The woman wouldn’t be able to help her now, maybe it was for the best.</p>
<p>“I would have needed your location for that.” Triana walked around the room. “I didn’t take you for a coward and yet, here you are, hiding in this…” She trailed a finger on a piece of furniture and stared at her dusty gloved fingertip. She made a face. “Second-rate temple.”</p>
<p>“I am not hiding; I just needed a change of scenery. Seeing your face every day gets tiring after a while.” Cara’s eyes scanned the room for an escape route. The door was guarded by four sisters and the window was too small to jump out of.</p>
<p>Triana’s jaw clenched in anger. “Enough with the pleasantries, we both know why I’m here.”</p>
<p>“Has the Lord Rahl finally realized what a terrible Mistress you make?” Cara sneered. Her only chance to escape was to fight her way through the group of Mord’Sith. She could do it. She had welcomed the pain even more lately - even if it didn’t last long and her wounds healed – it was the only thing reminding her that she wasn’t a walking corpse.</p>
<p>“Oh no, he’s quite pleased actually.” Triana smiled smugly. “I wish I could say the same for you but alas, you are guilty of treason and this is why our Lord wants you dead.” She lifted her hand and motioned for her sisters to attack.</p>
<p>Cara pulled out her agiel and with little effort, quickly disarmed her first attacker. She turned around just in time to avoid a blow to her head, the agiel of her sister whistling past her ear. Cara let her anger feed her adrenaline and headbutted her sister who then fell to the floor. Two down, three more to go. Triana was still watching her like a hawk instead of fighting her. Typical. She took a step toward her but a heavy strike on her back made her stop. Her new opponent was definitely more skilled than the two previous ones. They exchanged blows with furious speed until Cara forced her sister to give ground, allowing her to slam her agiel against the woman's chest.</p>
<p>Seeing an opening, Cara rammed the last Mord’Sith at the door with the side of her body, the momentum sending the woman crashing on the floor. Without wasting any time, she started running down the corridors and toward the secret staircase of the temple. She took the steps two at a time until she reached a little door leading outside.</p>
<p>Cara had barely made it out of the temple when another group of Mord’Sith appeared in front of her. This time, she couldn’t fight them all off. After a moment of struggle, her sisters subdued her. They restrained her and dragged her toward the ravine covering the right side of the temple. She could see Triana impatiently waiting for her there. Her sisters forced her on her knees in front of the woman.</p>
<p>“How the tables have turned.” Triana laughed.</p>
<p>Cara snorted. This was nothing like their first brawl. She had faced Triana with ease and without assistance. She had earned the right to lead her sisters with an iron fist, unlike Triana who had climbed the ladder just because there was no one else left around. Cara might be on her knees but her sister was the weak and pathetic one. Triana didn’t even have the courage to face her herself. “Don’t compare yourself to me, it’s insulting.”</p>
<p>Triana slapped her then roughly grabbed her chin with one hand, forcing her to look at her. “Look where you are, Cara. I wouldn’t be so prideful if I were you.” She pushed her away and nodded at the Mord’Sith surrounding Cara to attack. She watched as the blonde received blow after blow of their agiels. When Cara’s body fell limp on the ground, she declared. “Since the custom has been broken, we won’t give you an honorable death.” She put her boot on Cara’s back and pulled out a small dagger. She leaned down and cut Cara’s braid. “We’ll just leave your body to rot.”</p>
<p>“I will make you pay for this.” Cara felt dizzy with pain but she knew it wouldn’t last. She knew her death was going to be painful but she would come back to life once again, and someday, somehow, she would get her revenge on her sisters.</p>
<p>“How are you going to do that if you’re dead?” Triana chuckled before pushing Cara into the ravine.</p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>Cara was stomping through the forest like a horse on a parade and she was angry, she was more than angry in fact. Her short strands of hair were moving with the wind and it made Cara feel strange; she would have to get used to having short hair now, no matter if she liked it or not. With each determined stride she took, she pictured a new way of torturing her so-called sisters of the agiel. She was ready to rip Triana’s beating heart out of her chest and then, it would be Garren’s turn… No, ending Triana so quickly would be showing mercy, she deserved to feel what Cara felt when her sisters beat the life out of her.</p>
<p>Cara was picturing other gruesome ways to make Triana suffer when she reached the temple. She made her way to the doors with a little extra sway of her hips, thrilled by what was about to happen. The torches around the place were still burning and Cara could almost taste her revenge. Her heart was beating fast. She tried to control her breathing but the rage inside of her bubbled and doubled as she reached for the door’s handle.</p>
<p>Stepping inside, Cara gripped her agiel and strode through the halls ready to fight… only to find them completely empty. The only sign that her sisters had been here before was a forgotten agiel lying on the floor. She didn’t know if it belonged to Triana’s lackey, the one she had killed, or to a wounded sister dragged back to the temple after their battle but it didn’t matter. bent down and grabbed it, squeezing it in her hand to feel its burn. For the bloodbath she had in mind, two agiels were better than one. Feeling her anger grow even more, she made her way to the sleeping quarters, Triana could be back in her chambers, savoring her victory.</p>
<p>“Triana, you cumberworld!” She yelled as she kicked the door of her chambers open. There was nobody inside. She repeated the same action a couple of times, checking the other rooms but quickly realized it was pointless. The temple was empty. The Mord’Sith must have moved out right after leaving her for dead at the bottom of the ravine. No matter how long it would take, she would get her revenge. After all, she had all the time in the world…</p>
<p>Cara snickered at the prospect of dying now. Whatever happened to her had denied her even the possibility of eternal rest and made death just another useless word to her.</p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>Without knowing where her sisters had gone to, Cara wandered aimlessly around the land, staying away from the main roads and keeping a low profile whenever she had to pass near a village. She reserved those parts of her journey for when the moon was high in the sky. She used to visit those villages proudly, taking whatever her sisters and her needed as if it was their birthright. How pathetic she must look now; her sisters would be ashamed. Even if dying wasn’t an option for her anymore, she could still feel the tiredness catching up on her, making her walk with smaller steps and stopping every now and then for a quick gulp of water near a river or a stream.</p>
<p>Since she didn’t have a bow to hunt, she stuck to eating berries and roots she knew were not poisonous. Her strategy worked for a while. For the first couple of weeks, she wandered pointlessly through the forest but she quickly realized there was no sense in wandering forever. One night, when there was no moon in the sky and the stars shined brightly, a small flickering light got her attention. Walking slowly to where the miniature light was coming from, she quickly recognized its source, it was a firefly… Just as she took the creature in her hands, an old memory flashed in front of her eyes. She was young, wearing a dress and another girl was kneeling by her side, telling her how to carefully catch the small bugs without squishing them. Even though it had been a long time since Cara thought of that girl, she would recognize her face anywhere. Grace… The image of her sister made her think, think about the life she had missed, the family she had traded, the opportunities she has missed… Cara would later claim her decision on a moment of madness but for now, she walked with a destination in mind.</p>
<p>The journey to Stowecroft wasn’t as long as she had expected, maybe her feet walked faster or maybe time passed quicker but before she knew it, she was at the edge of the forest surrounding her hometown.</p>
<p>Cara’s mind was yelling at her to turn back and she almost listened, had it not been for the loud noises coming from somewhere near her and the anguished cries that followed.</p>
<p>Walking in the direction of the scream, Cara saw what had caused the ruckus. A big tree had fallen and a boy, maybe half her age was stuck under it. One of the numerous thick branches had landed on top of him and judging by his screaming, it was going to be a while until he passed out from the pain.</p>
<p>“Please, please you have to help me!” The boy implored, clearly too dizzy to notice he was asking a Mord’Sith for help.</p>
<p>Cara stared at him for a moment. She could just keep walking and pretend she hadn’t seen him. His parents would probably look for him at some point. She glanced around, looking for a sign of life but they were the only ones in the forest. The boy started to sob and the sound quickly got on her nerves. With a sigh, she approached him. It wasn’t pity she told herself as she inspected the fallen tree, she just wanted him to shut up. “Stay still.”  She ordered.</p>
<p>“Are you waiting for it to sprout flowers?” The boy yelled after drying his tears. “Just move it already!”</p>
<p>This was the last drop for Cara’s patience. “Listen…” She growled and kneeled down next to him, her red leather and agiels at full display. She smirked when she saw the boy lose all the color from his face. Maybe she could still inspire fear after all.</p>
<p>“You’re a Mord Sith… Oh Spirits, please don’t kill me.” He started crying again. “Someone, anyone, help me!” He shouted. “Help!”</p>
<p>“Hey!” Cara slapped him, not enough to break his jaw but enough to make him stop whining. “Stop that or I’ll leave you here to rot. Have I made myself clear?” She waited for him to nod then stood up. She needed leverage to move the tree. Thankfully, they were near the river bed and it was filled with big stones. She could use one of the broken branches and a stone to move the tree trunk away from the boy’s leg. Once she had everything, she looked at the boy. “When I push, you pull back, got it?” She asked as she got in position. She slid the branch between the soil and the trunk, only touching the top of the stone, and pushed. The boy was clearly smarter than he looked and the moment the fallen trunk moved, he quickly dragged himself to the side. “Can you stand up?” She questioned as she discarded the branch. She got her answer when she looked back and saw him already limping away from her. She frowned. Sure, she could chase after him but it would be a waste of energy. It was not like she had expected him to give her the moon in gratitude but a simple ‘thank you’ would have sufficed. That was what she got for helping someone out…</p>
<p>Cara stared at his quickly fading silhouette and saw a group of villagers approaching him. She must be closer to the village than she had first thought… Well, it was too late to turn back now. She continued walking ahead until she reached the end of the forest. She was now standing in a small clearing with a river nearby and a barn behind it… She knew that barn, it seemed as if it had been stuck in time…</p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>Cara was watching her childhood home from afar, wondering for the tenth time if she should go knock on the door or simply leave the village altogether. Being back in Stowecroft was already bringing back memories she didn't want to remember, memories she had worked so hard to forget. This was a terrible idea. As she turned around to leave, she came face to face with a young girl. She slowly raised her hands to show that she wasn’t a threat but it didn’t change anything, the girl screamed until her parents came running toward them.</p>
<p>“Get away from my daughter!” A tall man ordered, aiming at her with his bow.</p>
<p>Soon, her sister Grace rushed to the girl’s side. “It’s alright, Mama’s here.”</p>
<p>Cara took a deep breath. She should have known things would take a dramatic turn but this was apparently her sister’s family and she didn’t come here to fight them so she tried to play nice. She kept her hands raised and calmly said. “I am not here to hurt anybody.”</p>
<p>“Then leave, now, before I put this arrow through your eye.” The man stepped in front of Grace and the girl to shield them.</p>
<p>Cara gave him a pinched smile. She was almost tempted to let him do it but she knew it would raise more questions than she was ready or able to answer. She slowly started to turn away when her sister called her attention.</p>
<p>“Wait!” Grace exclaimed.</p>
<p>“Grace, stay away from her.” The man Cara assumed was her sister’s husband commanded.</p>
<p>Cara stayed rooted to her spot as Grace carefully approached her. She could see the look of recognition on her sister’s face so she closed her eyes and braced herself for what Grace was about to say.</p>
<p>“Cara?” Grace tried, her whole body shaking.</p>
<p>Cara let out a painful sigh before answering. “Yes.” She didn’t blame her sister for not recognizing her right away, she had been taken when she was nine summers and her body had changed so much since. Her heart too but she would rather fight an army of gars than admit that.</p>
<p>“You know her?” The man was still aiming at Cara but she paid him no mind.</p>
<p>“She’s my sister…” Grace declared with a mix of emotions on her face.</p>
<p>“It doesn’t change anything,” The husband stated. “She can’t stay here.”</p>
<p>Cara didn’t like the way he kept ordering her sister around but it wasn’t her place to comment. She wasn’t about to beg them to let her stay so she nodded at her sister and started walking away. Where was she supposed to go now? She walked without purpose for a short while until she heard Grace calling her name. She stopped and waited for her.</p>
<p>Grace was panting when she reached Cara. She looked at her sister from head to toe. “I’m sorry about my husband. He was only trying to protect our daughter.”</p>
<p>“There’s no need to explain,” Cara said curtly. She might dislike the man but at least he was ready to risk his life to protect her sister and her… niece from a Mord’Sith. She hadn’t expected a warm welcome anyway.</p>
<p>“I can’t believe it’s you.” There was a small but hopeful smile on Grace’s face when she reached out to touch her sister’s cheek.</p>
<p>Cara leaned away from the touch, ignoring the hurt in her sister’s eyes. She didn’t deserve that kind of kindness, especially not from her sister. “It was a mistake for me to come here.” She turned around, ready to keep walking but once again, Grace reached out to stop her.</p>
<p>“No, please.” Grace pleaded. “You look so tired and hungry. At least let me give you something to eat.”</p>
<p>Cara hadn’t eaten in days and she could feel the exhaustion settling in. She didn’t know what made her cave, if it was the caring way Grace offered her help after all this time or the ghost memory of their childhood fogging her mind, but she found herself nodding in agreement.</p>
<p>“Could you do me one favor though?” Grace asked. “Your leather will terrify the children; would you mind changing?”</p>
<p>Cara stared at her sister and after a short moment, she relented. If Grace was willing to welcome her into her home, she could at least make an effort. She could hear her sisters of the agiel mocking her in her head but she shook that thought away and followed her real sister.</p>
<p>Once inside the house, Grace gave her a dress to wear. It was light beige, with brown floral patterns and a blue corset. Cara tried her best not to stare at it in disgust. She hated dresses, they were so impractical for combat and pretty much everything that wasn’t sitting at home. She looked around her sister’s room, studying the tapestries until her sister mentioned her mother. The words fell out of her mouth before she could stop them. “Where is our mother?” She listened as Grace explained how their mother had died from a broken heart after losing her daughter and her husband. It made her heart clench uncomfortably. She pushed that feeling down but it came back with a vengeance when Grace asked about their father. “You don’t want to know.” She said after a pregnant pause. She didn’t know why she was trying to protect Grace but telling her the truth wouldn’t change what had happened anyway. She stared at her sister, silently warning her not to ask more questions. Her sister quickly left the room to let her change after that.</p>
<p>Cara stared at her reflection in the mirror. Her hair was a mess and she still hadn’t gotten used to how short it was. Her sister was right about one thing though, she did look tired. Out of nowhere, a flash of memory hit her. She was in the same room as she was now, looking in the mirror as her mother was fixing her dress. She blinked the sight away and sighed heavily. She shouldn’t have come back…</p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>Cara emerged from the bedroom half a candle mark later and awkwardly stood in front of the dining table. She felt small standing there in the middle of her childhood home without her leather. She was a Mord’Sith, she should exude confidence, not look like a skittish, pathetic child. Of course, her sister complimented her as soon as she saw her because Grace was nice and polite and loving, everything that she was not. She stared at Grace wordlessly and when it became too much, she sat at the end of the table. For an outsider, it would look like their dinner was a homecoming celebration and she was the guest of honor. The heavy silence in the room told Cara otherwise. Her niece grabbed the plate of potatoes at her mother’s request and hesitantly handed it to her. Cara forced a reassuring smile but the worried look on Ella’s face let her know that she wasn’t really convincing anyone.</p>
<p>Suddenly, the front door of the house was kicked open and several soldiers barged in. “Don’t move!”</p>
<p>Cara was out of her seat in an instant but when she reached for her agiels, she realized they were still in the bedroom. Stupid dress. She was ready to ask her sister why she had told her to stay if it was to call the guards on her a candle mark later but then she heard Sirian talk.</p>
<p>“I know you desperately want to believe she is your sister but she’s a Mord’Sith.” Grace’s husband stated. “Your sister is never coming back.”</p>
<p>Her sister’s husband was a rat but somehow, Cara couldn’t be angry with him. He probably did it to protect his family. She fought the soldiers until their leader aimed his crossbow at Grace, threatening to put her in jail too if she didn’t stop. Cara knew she could kill the guards but she didn’t think Grace would appreciate it if she slaughtered them all in front of the children. More importantly, her sister wasn’t immortal like her and she refused to risk her safety. She threw a glare at the captain before letting herself being dragged away from her childhood home.</p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>Being thrown in a cell was not an experience Cara ever thought she would repeat again. It brought back memories of when the sisters of the agiel first took her, only this time, she wasn’t a child anymore. Life had a twisted sense of humor; her whole journey had started with a stay in a cell and now, it was about to end the same way. Well… as much of an end someone that was immortal could get.</p>
<p>Once the rumors of her arrest started filling the streets with angry people, the guards decided to keep watch at the jail’s entrance so no self-proclaimed executioners could try to invade Cara’s cell in an attempt to kill her. As if some peasants could hurt a Mord’Sith.</p>
<p>“If I were you, I wouldn’t get too comfortable here.” Captain Arturis snickered. “A confessor is coming to see you and she will be the judge, jury, and executioner in your case.”</p>
<p>Cara rolled her eyes. “Of course you would call someone to do the dirty work for you. You’re all spineless cowards.”</p>
<p>“You don’t deserve a quick and painless death!” The Captain yelled, puffing his chest like a peacock.</p>
<p>“You are just afraid that if you let me out of this cell, I will kill every last one of you,” Cara stated with the most melodious voice the man had ever heard. Her words were accompanied with a small, satisfied smile and she could tell it made the man quake in his boots.</p>
<p>“Haven’t you killed enough already?” The Captain barked. “For years, you came to our village and stole our girls to turn them into monsters. You tortured and killed anyone who dared to oppose you.”</p>
<p>Cara thought it funny to hear him accuse her of something she had experienced firsthand. She was one of those girls. “I haven’t set a foot in your village in years.”</p>
<p>“This village or another, your crimes still stand.” Captain Arturis stated. “Your Lord is not here to protect you anymore and we deserve justice.” There was hatred in his eyes. “Enjoy your last days, Mord’Sith.”</p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>Cara’s stay in her cell passed a lot slower than she had expected. They could have at least tortured her to spend the time but they were ‘too civilized’ for that. She didn’t know how long she stayed there but eventually, five guards entered her cell. Cara was almost glad to see them, it meant the whole ordeal would be over soon. It was frustrating to know that it wouldn’t last forever though, since someone, somewhere, had decided to take that choice away from her. But never let it be said that Cara Mason was seen wallowing in her cell before her trial. She lifted her chin and with the most gracious steps one could muster while being shackled with rope, she stepped outside of the jail.</p>
<p>The guards took her to the marketplace where all the villagers had gathered. It was only when the crowd made way for the guards that she saw the pillory. “You must be joking.” Cara groaned. The lack of imagination of those people when it came to instruments of torture was almost laughable.</p>
<p>Captain Arturis appeared at her side. “The Confessor is still on her way but we couldn’t deny our people the pleasure of humiliating a Mord’Sith.” He looked amused but then, his face turned somber. “It is nothing compared to the grief you’ve caused to this village and our land.”</p>
<p>“You know nothing about pain, or pleasure by the look of it.” Cara declared before the guards placed her head and hands on the pillory. Soon, the villagers started throwing rocks at her but despite the pain, she was determined not to make a sound. These people were enraged and nothing could stop them from taking their oh so desired revenge. She blocked their screams and focused her mind on a plan. Being confessed was going to hurt but she would come back to life shortly after, just like she did every time Kahlan killed her that way. She just needed to play dead long enough for them to throw her body in a ditch. Then, she would be able to escape and hit the road again. She didn’t have anywhere else to go but anywhere was better than here.</p>
<p>The villagers didn’t notice but Cara’s training made her fully aware of the compassed clopping of a nearing horse. Even though it was difficult to keep her eyes open, she dared a quick peek and that was when she wished she had died already…</p>
<p>“Enough!” The newcomer yelled in a commanding voice. She quickly dismounted from her white horse and ran to the pillory to shield Cara.</p>
<p>Cara knew that voice, she had heard it so many nights in her dreams. The moment she saw the black, wavy locks of the Mother Confessor, she groaned. “Of course, it had to be you...”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>So I was not a fan of Dahlia but my friend Evelitan is, or at least, she likes what Dahlia could have been without this awful plot that half concluded the show, you know, women hating each other and catfighting all the time blablabla *eye roll*. Anyway, we wrote her as someone who, despite the layers of sarcasm and coldness, really does care about Cara because our girl needs a break and friends that aren't just Richard the silly little brother and Zedd the friendly grandpa.</p>
<p>Also, yes, we included a scene from season 2, it will happen sometimes so it can stay connected to the show but better :)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>A/N: We’re back to Kahlan’s POV. The first part is set before Cara ends in StoweCroft.</p>
<p>Let us know what you think, we love reading your reactions!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Kahlan was in the middle of a war council when she heard the news: Darken Rahl was dead, killed by the Seeker. The first thought that popped into her mind was that she hoped he would stay dead this time and then, she allowed herself a small moment of satisfaction. Justice had been served and Darken had finally faced retribution for all the misery he had inflicted all these years. It took a while but Richard finally did it and she sent a silent prayer to the Creator as thanks. Their last battle ended in a massacre for both sides and it was becoming difficult to fill the ranks of her army so she was glad to know there wouldn’t be any new confrontation soon. She wasn’t delusional, she knew the fall of Darken didn’t mean peace would come overnight. However, this time around, most of his allies were dead which would allow a smoother transition with a new leader. In her last exchange with Dennee, her sister had informed her that Richard was finally considering taking the throne, at least until D’Hara was stable and Kahlan hoped he would go through with it. With the both of them in charge, Kahlan knew the Midlands and D’Hara could find a durable truce but right now, she had to focus on her lands, there was a lot of work to do, especially to rebuilt.</p>
<p>That night, when Kahlan retired to her chambers, her mind drifted to Cara. It had almost been a month since she last saw her and she couldn’t help but wonder what the Mord’Sith was doing, especially now that her master was dead. The dreams had stopped but instead of feeling relieved, she felt uneasy. The mysterious magic that had brought her back to life was still coursing through her veins and there was still no answer as to why. As a wave of loneliness crashed into her, she wondered if she would ever see the blonde again or if she would have to find Shota alone.</p>
<p>A couple of weeks ago, Zedd informed her via journey book that, after careful consideration, only one person could answer her questions about peculiar spells and it was the witch. To say Kahlan wasn’t thrilled about it would be an understatement. She knew the woman was unreliable at best but if there was even the sightless chance of finding a cure, she was willing to compromise.</p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>A week later, as Kahlan was absentmindedly going over the order of the day with the Aydindril’s Secretary, something caught her attention. “A request for a Confessor? Already?” Yes, the war was unofficially over but they had been fooled once already. “Where?”</p>
<p>“Stowecroft, my lady.” The short, salt-and-pepper-haired man answered. “Confessor Erin offered to travel there herself. I can ask the stable boy to prepare a horse for her at your earliest convenience.”</p>
<p>Kahlan knew the Midlands like the back of her hand, it was part of her training as a Confessor but she couldn’t remember a village of that name on the territory. She glanced at the map on her desk and frowned. “In D’Hara?” The province just got rid of their tyrant so the village could be dangerous if they wanted to settle some old score or it could even be a trap. There were so little Confessors left, she didn’t want to risk Erin’s life for nothing. On another hand, people needed hope and justice more than ever. Accepting the request could be seen as a peace offering, a gesture that could help her in the future. “I should go.” She stated. “Let it be a diplomatic visit.” She couldn’t die and even if she didn’t know why or how long it would last, she could put her ability to good use.</p>
<p>“But Mother Confessor, you can’t.” Geralt frowned. “It could be dangerous and…”</p>
<p>“Are you implying that my sisters’ lives are worth less than mine?” Kahlan interrupted. She could tell he wanted to answer in the affirmative but was too afraid to do so. The man was soft-spoken yet sharp-tongued when necessary. She usually appreciated his honesty but he was still wise enough not to cross the line. “I might be the ruler of these lands but I am still a Confessor. If people need my help, then I should do my best to offer it. I’ll leave at first light with a small escort, two guards. I don’t want to make it look like we are invading D’Hara.”</p>
<p>“I will do as you wish, my lady, but please, take two more guards with you.” Geralt advised. “For an old man’s peace of mind.” He added with a small smile.</p>
<p>Kahlan chuckled. The man was close to fifty summers and yet far from being weak but he was protective of her, almost like a father would. He had always done more than what was expected of him to make sure she had everything she needed and she was so grateful for him. “Well, if it can help you rest easy then I accept.” She touched his shoulder and gave him a gentle smile. “Now, tell me about the pressing matters of the day.”</p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>Kahlan was galloping toward Stowecroft with a smile on her face. It was nice to be on the road and helping people again. She didn’t hate being the Mother Confessor, she knew it was an honor but she would have wanted to explore more before being thrown into that role.</p>
<p>As she entered the village, she saw a figure on the pillory, right in the middle of the marketplace. She guessed it was the Mord’Sith that she was supposed to judge. She knew most of the sisters of the agiel had deserted after Darken Rahl’s death but it was strange to see one of them wandering around D’Hara alone. The woman was wearing a dress and short blonde hair. It wasn’t really the style of the Mord’Sith. Kahlan urged her horse on, passing her guards despite their warnings. She was close enough now and her heart skipped a beat when she recognized Cara. Why was she out of her leather and why did she have short hair? She saw one of the villagers reaching for a rock to throw it at Cara and felt her anger rise. “Enough!” Without thinking, she hopped off her horse and moved in front of Cara. She straightened her stance and asked authoritatively. “Who is in charge here?”</p>
<p>“I am, Mother Confessor.” Captain Arturis stepped forward and bowed in respect. “Captain Arturis at your service.”</p>
<p>“Get that woman out of the stocks and put her in jail,” Kahlan ordered. She couldn’t ask them to release Cara right away, it would look suspicious. She needed to know more about the situation first before she could help the blonde. She didn’t know why she felt the need to do so, after all, the woman had pretended to side with her just before leaving her alone in a cave but they were linked, for better or for worse, at least until they could find a remedy for their regenerative abilities. It should probably feel like a gift, but it wasn’t the case. It was scary and confusing and she wasn’t sure if she wanted to stay alive for longer than she should, especially if she had to watch the people that she loved die one after the other why she stayed the same.</p>
<p>“Came for another fight, Mother Confessor?” Cara called from behind Kahlan.</p>
<p>Kahlan ignored her but when Cara started to fight the guards holding her, she knew she had to say something. “Wait!” She stepped closer and whispered so the soldiers couldn’t hear her. “Don’t fight. I will get you out of here.”</p>
<p>Cara glared at her. “I don’t need your help!”</p>
<p>Kahlan shook her head. Cara was so infuriating; they had barely exchanged two sentences and the woman was already arguing with her. “We both know that’s not true.” She turned around and addressed the crowd. “I appreciate your desire for justice but lynching someone isn’t the answer. I know that woman is a Mord’Sith but I don’t want to carry out a judgment blindly. I am asking for a fair trial.”</p>
<p>“We asked you to come here to execute her.” A tall man shouted from the crowd. “Nothing else.”</p>
<p>“I am not an executioner,” Kahlan stated. The thought of being seen as such made her uncomfortable. She was a symbol of justice, hope, and love, she wasn’t the bringer of death. “I am the Mother Confessor and before her fate is decided, there will be a hearing. My choice is not up for discussion.”</p>
<p>“And who will decide what will happen after this hearing.” The same man asked. “You?”</p>
<p>“Yes,” Kahlan confirmed. “You asked me here for this purpose and this is my decision to make.” She turned her attention to the captain. “Lead me to your hearing room, Captain.” She needed to ask him what happened to Cara.</p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>Kahlan was sitting alone in the hearing room. She had dismissed Captain Arturis after he finished recounting the events of the past few days and she was now wondering how she going to free Cara. A knock on the door pulled her out of her musing.</p>
<p>Her personal guard opened the door and bowed his head. “Excuse me, Mother Confessor, but a villager is asking for an audience.”</p>
<p>Kahlan nodded. “Let them in.” She watched as a short woman with blonde hair and green eyes entered the room.</p>
<p>“Mother Confessor,” Grace gave her a small curtsy. “My name is Grace Mason and if you allow me, I would like to plead for my sister’s case.”</p>
<p>“You’re…” Kahlan blinked in surprise. “You are Cara’s sister?” She didn’t know Cara had a sister but it was just a reminder that despite their connection, she knew little about the other woman.</p>
<p>“Yes, her big sister.” Grace smiled to herself. “I know everyone sees her as a Mord’Sith and maybe they are right but I also know that deep down, my sweet little sister is still there.”</p>
<p>Kahlan waved her closer. “Tell me about her.”</p>
<p>“First, I would like to apologize for my husband.” Grace started. “He’s the man who called you out earlier at the marketplace. He’s just trying to protect me and our children, he didn’t mean any disrespect.”</p>
<p>“It must be a difficult situation for you.” Kahlan felt bad for her, being torn between her long-lost sister and her husband.</p>
<p>“It is…” Grace gave her a sad smile. “I don’t know who Cara is now but I know who she was. You see, Cara was such a sweet little girl. When she was five, our aunt visited, and one afternoon, aunt Raya - who was a big woman who could easily wrestle with the pigs when they had to be taken to the slaughterhouse - told us about her fear of lizards. She always made her husband chase them away. After that, Cara left to play outside with our cousins. They were all running around, the twins were both my age but they were the sweetest boys and they adored Cara. Anyway, my mother, my aunt, and I had been peeling peas all afternoon, and here came Cara, holding something in her tiny hands. When we looked closer, we could see the lizard’s tail peaking between her palms. She had a big smile on her face. She loved animals and hated hurting them so a few months before that, I had shown her how to safely catch insects and small reptilians. Cara slowly approached our aunt and revealed the lizard, telling Raya that she had nothing to be afraid of. My aunt jumped out of her stool and the peas she had sorted on her lap all went flying around the kitchen.” She laughed fondly at the memory. “But Cara didn’t move and patiently waited for our aunt to calm down so she could show her her new little friend. It took some coercing but my aunt finally agreed to pat the lizard’s head with the tip of her finger. Cara was so proud that day.”</p>
<p>“It was sweet of her.” Kahlan smiled despite herself.</p>
<p>“She could be mischievous too,” Grace added. “But every time she looked at you with those big emerald eyes and that sweet smile of hers, you’d quickly forget that you were mad at her in the first place.” She chuckled then turned serious. “She might behave as if she doesn’t feel anything now, as if she has shut down all her emotions but I know that’s not true. I saw it in her eyes when we talked, just before she got arrested.”</p>
<p>“I understand,” Kahlan said sympathetically. It was nice to hear about Cara’s past but she knew it wouldn’t be enough to convince the crowd. “But your village wants justice for what she has done as a Mord’Sith.”</p>
<p>“If I may share another memory?” Grace waited for Kahlan’s nod of approval then continued. “When we were little, Cara and I loved to play on the riverbank but the stones there are very slippery. One day, while we were chasing each other, I slipped and fell. I scraped my knee and started crying. Father quickly ran to us but by the time he arrived, Cara had started crying as well. She didn’t have any blood on her so when he asked her why she was crying, she said that it was her fault if I fell because if she hadn’t been chasing me, I wouldn’t have slipped.” This time, Grace’s eyes teared up. “I know Cara is no longer a child and is far from being an innocent maiden but I refuse to believe that my sister who cried because I scraped my knee has stopped feeling. Not Cara. Not even after everything she has been through. I believe there is still a part of her that feels everything even if she has perfected her face not to show it.” Grace paused. “A little boy came to see me earlier, he told me he knew Cara. When I asked him how, he told me my sister helped him in the woods when he was stuck under a tree. This act of kindness wasn’t from the little girl I used to know; it was from Cara the Mord’Sith.”</p>
<p>The Mother Confessor raised an eyebrow in surprise. “I’m going to need to talk to the boy.” If it was true then it meant Cara’s soul wasn’t gone, just buried under years of pain and abuse. It meant that the flicker of emotions she had seen in Cara’s eyes wasn’t a trick of her imagination. Cara wasn’t the unredeemable monster the villagers swore she was and that thought made her heart race in hope.</p>
<p>“I believe in justice, but I also believe in forgiveness and second chances. Cara agreed to wear a dress and let herself be arrested because of me. She was willing to try, for me and I think that, with enough love and guidance, she would be able to make amends. It will never erase what she did but it’s a start…” Grace finally concluded.</p>
<p>Kahlan sighed. She was starting to believe Grace might be right. Maybe Cara needed someone to extend a hand for once instead of raising it. While traveling with Richard, the man had offered a second chance to many people - not all of them deserving - and although it had bothered Kahlan back then, she had to admit some of them really ended up turning over a new leaf. Now, she was starting to wonder if Cara didn’t kill Dennee on purpose, if it was the first telltale sign that Cara was more than her crimson leather and agiel. She would have to ask her later. “Thank you, Grace. Are you willing to talk at the hearing?”</p>
<p>“Of course, Mother Confessor. I want to help.”</p>
<p>“I will see you there, then.” Kahlan smiled and nodded in goodbye. Now, she needed to talk to Cara. “What am I getting myself into…” She murmured under her breath. Breaking down Cara’s walls wouldn’t be easy but something inside her, a small voice, whispered back to her that it was worth it, that Cara was worth it...</p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>Kahlan made her way to Cara’s cell with a heavy heart. She stopped in front of the bars and studied the woman. She looked tired and her face was dirty. There was also dried blood on her forehead but Kahlan knew whatever wounds Cara had, they had healed by now. “Leave us!” She ordered the two soldiers on guard duty. The men stared at her but didn’t move. “I said leave us!” She commanded more forcefully. The soldiers seemed to hesitate but she stared them down until they obeyed. She turned her attention back to Cara. “How are you?”</p>
<p>Cara snorted. “What do you think?”</p>
<p>Kahlan sighed. She didn’t even know why she asked. “I meant what I said before, I will get you out of here.”  </p>
<p>“And I should trust you?” The Mord’Sith crossed her arms defiantly.</p>
<p>“You’re going to have to at some point,” Kahlan stated. “Unless you want to rot in here as they try to kill you over and over again.”</p>
<p>“How are you going to convince them to release me?” Cara questioned with a bored look on her face.</p>
<p>“I will tell them the truth, that you are a victim of the Mord’Sith yourself,” Kahlan informed her.</p>
<p>Cara frowned. “That’s absurd!”</p>
<p>Kahlan continued. “I pretended to be a Mord’Sith once to help Richard and I saw what they…”</p>
<p>“You think that because you played dress-up for a few days you know anything about me?” Cara snapped. “Being chosen by the Mord’Sith was the highest honor of my life!”</p>
<p>“They tortured you to make you believe that.” Kahlan could tell Cara wanted to lash out. The blonde was too indoctrinated to see the truth but it wouldn’t stop Kahlan from trying to make her see reason. “Do not let your pride kill you.”</p>
<p>“I can’t die so I won’t grovel on my knees and beg for mercy.” Cara declared angrily. “I am not ashamed of who I am!”</p>
<p>“And who are you exactly?” It sounded almost mocking but Cara needed a push. “Your Lord is dead, and there is no sign of your sisters.” Kahlan pointed out. “Why are you even here?”</p>
<p>“I didn’t have anywhere else to go!” Cara barked. “My si… The Mord’Sith ostracized me after our last battle. They beat me and threw me at the bottom of a ravine. So...” She paused and laughed darkly. “I guess you can gloat now, Mother Confessor.”</p>
<p>“I am not here for that,” Kahlan assured her with a softer tone than before. “I am asking for a truce despite the fact that you tried to kill my sister and killed me several times.”</p>
<p>“I don’t want your pity,” Cara grumbled.</p>
<p>“It’s not pity, I...” Kahlan heard a noise and checked the hallway to see if anyone was coming. When she didn’t see anyone, she assumed it was just a rodent and continued. “Your sister wants to speak on your behalf, do you know anyone else who would?”</p>
<p>“Mord’Sith don’t have villagers cheering for them like Confessors do.” Cara reminded her.</p>
<p>“That’s a no then.” Kahlan ignored Cara’s glare and the jab at her people. “Your sister told me you helped a little boy on your way here, is that true?”</p>
<p>“Why do you care?” Cara said dismissively.</p>
<p>“Because it could help your case and because…” Because if Cara took mercy on the boy, it was possible that she also spared her sister. The blonde raised a questioning eyebrow at her so Kahlan asked the question that had been burning her tongue since she talked to Grace. “What happened when you fought with my sister? You stumbled into Dennee and another Confessor while chasing after the former Mother Confessor.”</p>
<p>“What does it have to do with what’s happening here?” Cara scowled.</p>
<p>“Because I saw you fight, I was at the receiving hand of your blows,” Kahlan explained to her. “I can’t see how you could have missed.”</p>
<p>“Finally, you admit my superiority in combat.” Cara smiled smugly.</p>
<p>Kahlan rolled her eyes. “That’s not what I said. Answer my question!”</p>
<p>“We fought, I cut her throat, and then I left. End of the story.” Cara said in a monotone voice.</p>
<p>“And yet, she survived. How do you explain that?” Kahlan was starting to doubt herself. Maybe her loneliness was blinded her, maybe she wanted to befriend Cara so much, to have someone who understood her struggles, that she had created a whole story in her head where Cara had shown a sight of her humanity.</p>
<p>“Luck?” Cara shrugged. “Or maybe she is cursed too.”</p>
<p>“She has a scar on her neck that tells me otherwise.” Kahlan insisted, losing her patience.</p>
<p>“What do you want me to say?” Cara shouted.</p>
<p>“I want to know if you spared her life!” Kahlan shouted back. They stared at each other for a moment. When it was clear that Cara wouldn’t say anything else, Kahlan shook her head. There was only so much she could take. She already did more than she should have for that woman. They weren’t even friends; they were just two people life had thrown together through unexpected circumstances. In fact, Cara seemed to still see her as an enemy so she wasn’t about to risk her neck for someone who didn’t even care about her. Maybe it was for the best, Confessor and Mord’Sith weren’t meant to be anything but enemies. “Fine, enjoy rotting in a cell for eternity.” Kahlan turned around and started walking down the hallway.</p>
<p>“Wait!” Cara called after her. “I…”</p>
<p>Kahlan stopped walking but didn’t turn around. She took a deep breath, waiting to hear what Cara had to say.</p>
<p>Cara sighed. “I was just doing what I was ordered to do.”</p>
<p>That was not what Kahlan wanted to hear. She turned around this time. “Is that an excuse?” She asked coldly.</p>
<p>“It isn’t. Lord Rahl ordered us to kill the Mother Confessor before she could gather forces with the resistance,” Cara explained in a detached tone.</p>
<p>Kahlan slowly went back to the cell. “The Mother Confessor and my sisters were trying to find refuge in Valeria, they weren’t trying to plot a coup. They weren’t a threat!” She hated the fact that she couldn’t read Cara. She was relying on her instinct to judge Cara’s level of honesty but the woman wasn’t showing her much. At least, Cara was talking, it was probably the Mord’Sith’s way of acknowledging that she needed help without actually saying it.</p>
<p>“I didn’t know that!” Cara argued. “And your sister tried to confess me so I defended myself.”</p>
<p>“You attacked her first!” Kahlan reminded her.</p>
<p>Cara scoffed. “I’m a Mord’Sith, what did you expect?”</p>
<p>Once again, they weren’t going anywhere. Kahlan leaned closer to the bars and locked eyes with Cara. “This is the last time I’m asking, did you, or did you not spare my sister?”</p>
<p>Cara sighed. “Your sister stepped back just in time to avoid the full blow of her own dagger.” She looked down at her feet then back at Kahlan. “My sisters were leaving to hunt down the Mother Confessor. I was ready to follow but then I saw your sister move. I could have finished her but…”</p>
<p>“But what?” Kahlan urged. She swore she saw a hint of shame in Cara’s eyes before the woman glanced away but it wasn’t enough. She found herself holding her breath, she knew the answer would seal their fate.</p>
<p>“My mission was to kill the Mother Confessor so there was no point...” Cara finally said, leaning against the bars of her cell. “Her friend was dead and she wasn’t a threat so I left her there. When I joined my sisters back, the Mother Confessor was already gone.” </p>
<p>Kahlan sighed in relief. It wasn’t what she had expected, her sister could have died alone in the forest from blood loss but Cara had offered her a chance to survive, a chance Kahlan knew no other Mord’Sith would have given Dennee. She reached out between the bars and squeezed Cara’s arm. “Thank you for telling me the truth.”</p>
<p>Cara flinched and snatched her arm away. “What now?”</p>
<p>“The hearing should start soon,” Kahlan stated. “Just play along.”</p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>When the hearing began, Kahlan felt more observed than she had been in a long time but it wasn’t a new feeling. She used to be watched every moment of the day when she grew up, just to make sure she wasn’t being careless with her power. In a way, it was like the crowd was judging her and not just Cara. She cleared her throat. “Mord’Sith aren’t born… they’re broken.” She didn’t need to see Cara’s face to feel her exasperation.</p>
<p>Kahlan started her speech by telling everyone how little girls were turned into Mord’Sith. It felt weird to defend the Mord’Sith, to find excuses for their evil doings. It went against everything she had been taught as a Confessor but she tried to remind herself that she was doing it for Cara, not for her sisters and their lord.</p>
<p>Then, Kahlan asked Grace to recount Cara’s abduction. Grace moved in front of the crowd and told them about the day she went fishing with Cara and their father, how they were enjoying their time together until the Mord’Sith came. “They beat my father and took Cara away. That was the last time I saw my sister. A few days later, they came back and took our father, I never understood why. My mother died from a heartbreak soon after. Not a day goes by where I don’t think about my family and miss them, that I don’t think about how my father could have lived to have seen his grandchildren.”</p>
<p>Kahlan chanced a glance at Cara as she stood in front of them, proud and angry. As Grace kept talking about her father, she saw a change in Cara’s demeanor.</p>
<p>“He wasn’t the kind, caring man you think he was.” Cara declared. “He was a gutless, selfish, pathetically weak bastard.”</p>
<p>Grace’s face fell at her sister’s statement. “How can you say such things?”</p>
<p>“Because it’s the truth!” Cara snapped, glaring at her sister. “He deserved what he got.”</p>
<p>“Did they… Did they kill him?” Grace asked hesitantly.</p>
<p>“No, I did,” Cara stated, a taunting look on her face.</p>
<p>Kahlan groaned internally. Grace was the only one willing to defend Cara and instead of playing nice, Cara was antagonizing her. She should have known the blonde wouldn’t keep her mouth shut. Doubt was creeping in again. Was this trial a mistake? There was so much she didn’t know about Cara and if the woman could kill her own father without a second thought, Kahlan wasn’t sure if she could be redeemed. “Is there anyone else to speak in favor of Cara Mason?” She inquired once Grace went back to her seat. The parents of the boy Cara rescued had refused to let him speak at the hearing so Kahlan only had Cara’s own testimony left to defend her case.</p>
<p>“You heard the Mord’Sith, she gloated about killing her own father.” Captain Arturis barked. “She has shown no remorse for what happened to her family or the little girls they abducted from our village. She deserves nothing but death!” He took a menacing step toward Cara.</p>
<p>“Captain Arturis, please remain calm,” Kahlan demanded. The atmosphere in the room was already tense, she didn’t need a brawl on top of it.</p>
<p>“Calm?” The captain repeated in disbelief. “Mother Confessor, with all due respect, you are forcing the people of this town to relive terrible days, and for what purpose, so she can mock us?”</p>
<p>“No one has to sit and listen if they don’t want to.” Kahlan reminded the audience. “But this hearing will continue.”</p>
<p>“Mord’Sith are beasts, there is nothing else to hear!” Sirian argued.</p>
<p>“Then you can leave!” Kahlan hissed at him. “The Mord’Sith has the right to speak.” She turned to Cara. “Tell us what happened when the Mord’Sith took you.”</p>
<p>Cara rolled her eyes but did as Kahlan asked. “I was taught strength and endurance. They put me in a cell, smaller than the one you threw me in. When I was awake, I was beaten with the agiel and when I tried to sleep, the rats gnawed on my fingers and toes, even when I slept in a ball. It didn’t last long, the Mord’Sith gave me the opportunity to kill my tormentors. My mistress came and gave me an agiel so I could kill the rats. I refused at first but then I understood an important lesson, in this world, it is kill or be killed. It took me some time to learn how to withstand the pain of the agiel but in the end, I killed every rat in that cell.”</p>
<p>As a Confessor, Kahlan had heard a lot of terrible stories but it was always hard to listen when children were involved. Listening to Cara’s stories had rekindled her hatred for the Mord’Sith. She was struggling to separate the two: Cara and the sisters of the agiel but also Cara the Mord’Sith and Cara Mason, the woman who spared her sister. Maybe Cara was both and always would be, just like she would always be the Mother Confessor and Kahlan Amnell, the woman from Grumalia. Where Kahlan had years to conciliate these two sides of herself, Cara was just beginning her journey to find the right balance. She shook her head, she needed to focus on little Cara and the life the Mord’Sith took away from her instead. “No one can blame you for defending yourself against the rats, but what about your father?”</p>
<p>“They didn’t force me to kill him, they gave me the honor. My father joined me in my cell. I thought he was there to rescue me but then, the Mord’Sith told me the truth.” Cara looked at her sister. “He was ready to sell you to them. He had already received money for me but it wasn’t enough. When I asked him if it was true, he stayed silent, weeping like a child. They put the agiel in my hand and I killed him.” She paused. “They made me powerful.”</p>
<p>Kahlan was getting frustrated. She was trying to help Cara but the woman kept self-sabotaging herself. “You were just a little girl. They manipulated you, you didn’t have a choice.”</p>
<p>“I didn’t have anything else to lose,” Cara growled. “Especially not my father’s love so I embraced the Mord’Sith and they became my true family.”</p>
<p>“A family that hurts you, torture you?” Kahlan raised an eyebrow. “Sisters that beat you and leave you for dead at the bottom of a ravine?”</p>
<p>“You did some of those things to me…” Cara smirked. “And without me and my Mord’Sith’s training, your precious Seeker would be dead!”</p>
<p>“I knew it! I knew the Mother Confessor was biased!” Sirian stood up and pointed an accusing finger at Kahlan. “These two know each other! I saw them while they were talking in the cell.”</p>
<p>“Sirian!” Grace grabbed her husband’s arm and forced him back on his seat.</p>
<p>Kahlan frowned. So the noise she heard in the hallway while talking to Cara wasn’t just the rats. She stood up from her throne with an imposing manner and stared the man down. “Are you questioning my authority?”</p>
<p>“I…” Sirian deflated as Kahlan held her hand up to silence him.</p>
<p>“I do not know this woman personally but I know Richard Cypher, the Seeker of truth. He told me how Cara helped him defeat Darken Rahl the first time around.” Kahlan hated lying, especially for someone who hurt her before but she didn’t appreciate the accusation. At least, the part about Richard was true, and for the rest, they didn’t need to know about her connection with Cara. “This betrayal cost her her place among the Mord’Sith and this is why she came back to Stowecroft, to find a new life with her sister, the only family she has left.”</p>
<p>Sirian glared at Cara. “We don’t want her here.”</p>
<p>Kahlan clenched her jaw in irritation. That man was really trying her patience. “I’m sure she is very well aware of that but despite everything, when she arrived in your village, she helped a young boy who was stuck under a tree.” She informed them. “This woman has changed and that’s why I think she deserves a fair trial. If she was my friend, I would have ordered her release as soon as I arrived.”</p>
<p>“She deserves no mercy!” Sirian said, ignoring the look of hurt on his wife’s face.</p>
<p>Kahlan’s personal guards stepped in front of her as soon as the crowd erupted in chaos. Before she could ask the audience to settle down, a voice echoed in the room.</p>
<p>“Stop this!” A woman with blonde hair, about 40 summers, stood up and the room fell silent.</p>
<p>Kahlan motioned for her guards to step aside so she could look at her. “Who are you?”</p>
<p>“I am Cara’s former school teacher.” Miss Crantan introduced herself. “What the people of this town are doing to her is horrible.” She looked at Cara with a soft smile. “I remember Cara as a little girl, she was such a good student. So smart, always wanting to please.” She addressed the crowd. “The Mother Confessor is right, we shouldn’t be punishing her, we should be pitying her.”</p>
<p>Kahlan dubiously stared at the teacher but then, her eyes moved to Cara as a small detail caught her attention. The previously smug look on Cara’s face was gone. Her posture was now rigid, almost as if she didn’t dare to move at all… or even looking at her teacher. And since when did Cara remain silent when someone said she should be pitied? Especially if the suggestion was coming from a simple village woman. There was something wrong with the teacher. Kahlan’s eyes went back to her once more, looking for a clue, a twitch, something that would help her understand what was happening. She couldn’t read her… The fact that Cara – who seemed to fear nothing and no one - kept glancing in the direction of her former teacher with an almost submissive look on her face also raised her suspicions. She needed to talk to Cara.</p>
<p>“She is a depraved murder; we should have killed her by now.” Captain Arturis shouted from the side of the room. Once again, the crowd roared in agreement.</p>
<p>“Silence!” Kahlan ordered. “I’m calling for a recess. Guards, don’t let anyone leave.” She walked away from the throne and stopped in front of one of her personal guards. “Bring the Mord’Sith to me.”</p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>Kahlan waited for Cara to join her in the adjacent room of the hearing hall. Things weren’t going well and not just for Cara. Now that some villagers were starting to question her impartiality, she knew she had to tread lightly. Summoning Cara for a private meeting might not help her case but she didn’t have a choice. When Cara entered the room, Kahlan quickly dismissed the guards.</p>
<p>“I am yours to command, Mother Confessor.” Cara bowed exuberantly.</p>
<p>“This is no time for jokes, Cara.” Kahlan chastised. She couldn’t understand how the blonde could be so nonchalant about everything. “I don’t trust the school teacher and I need you to tell me why.”</p>
<p>Cara shrugged. “Maybe you’re losing your touch?”</p>
<p>“I can’t read her and there is only one kind of people I can’t read, the Mord’Sith,” Kahlan stated. “So who is she?”</p>
<p>“She told you, she was my teacher,” Cara said curtly.</p>
<p>“Why are you doing this, Cara?” Kahlan sighed. “I’m trying to help you and you keep making things worse.”</p>
<p>“Your plan is clearly not working so just order my execution already,” Cara replied irritated.</p>
<p>Kahlan frowned. “Is that what you want?” She was aware that Grace’s testimony didn’t sway the crowd but confessing Cara to solve the situation felt wrong. She was trying to break the cycle of violence and hatred between them and she was afraid that killing Cara would only result in a new wave of vengeance.  </p>
<p>“I can’t die, you know that,” Cara rolled her eyes. “So, you can just confess me and I’ll play dead long enough for you to take my body away from the village.”</p>
<p>“And what if they see through your bluff, what then? They are already questioning my objectivity; how do you think they’ll react if they realize I didn’t really kill you?” Kahlan didn’t want to deal with new enemies when she was still dealing with the aftermath of the war.</p>
<p>“We can fight them.” Cara shrugged.</p>
<p>“We can’t kill the whole town just because they disagree with us!” Kahlan declared exasperated.</p>
<p>“Then let’s hope your acting is good.” The blonde retorted.</p>
<p>Kahlan pulled out a chair and sat down with a weary sigh. She studied Cara silently. She was starting to see her in a whole new light now. It troubled her to realize they had things in common: the violent end of a peaceful childhood, the loss of a mother, the betrayal of a father, or even the heavyweight of their training. “I’m sorry for what happened…” She blurted out before she could stop herself.</p>
<p>“Care to be more specific?” Cara raised a questioning eyebrow.</p>
<p>“You having to relive what happened to your father.” Kahlan specified even though it applied to more than that.</p>
<p>“He deserved it,” Cara answered impassibly.</p>
<p>“Maybe… but you still loved him.” Kahlan noticed how Cara’s body started to shake with barely restrained anger so she continued, hoping it would get her to talk. “He was supposed to love you unconditionally, to protect you from the dangers of the world…” She tried to ignore the memories of her own father. “Instead, he sold you for a few coppers and was ready to do the same with your sister. It must have been hard to…”</p>
<p>“You know nothing about my father!” Cara roared, launching herself at Kalhan with her bound hands outstretched.</p>
<p>Kahlan swiftly jumped out of her seat and watched as Cara crashed against it, her body falling to the floor with the chair. “Then tell me about your teacher!” She yelled. “Because you can’t look at her in the eye and you want me to believe she’s no one.” She had never thought raising her voice was the best way to obtain information but it seemed to be a language Cara could understand and they were running out of time.</p>
<p>Cara sat up and glared at Kahlan. After a moment, she sighed. “It’s the truth, she was my teacher but not the kind you think of. She was my mistress, the one who broke me and taught me everything.”</p>
<p>All of Kahlan’s annoyance disappeared at the revelation. It made sense now why Cara didn’t want to talk about her. “Oh, Cara…” She approached the blonde to help her stand but Cara pushed her hand away.</p>
<p>“Don’t touch me!” Cara growled.</p>
<p>Kahlan took a step back and observed as Cara stood up with more grace than she had expected.</p>
<p>“You need to tell them who she is.”</p>
<p>“It won’t change anything,” Cara stated, her tone back to neutral as if she hadn’t exploded in rage a moment ago.</p>
<p>“You don’t know that!” Kahlan insisted. Even if Cara was right, the teacher should still be punished for her actions. The woman infiltrated the school to facilitate the kidnapping of young girls and the villagers should know about it.</p>
<p>“I do,” Cara assured her.</p>
<p>“Cara, the Mord’Sith cast you out,” Kahlan reminded her again. “You don’t owe them anything, especially not some twisted sense of honor.”</p>
<p>Cara shook her head. “I owe them everything.”</p>
<p>“No, not anymore, you are free,” Kahlan said softly. Cara was holding on to her Mord’Sith identity like a lifeline but it wouldn’t help her save herself.</p>
<p>“Kahlan…” Cara sighed.</p>
<p>The Mother Confessor blinked; it was the first time Cara called her by her name. It made her pause. Her name sounded almost like a plea that refused to be voiced. “What is it?”</p>
<p>Cara locked eyes with her. “I am and always will be a Mord’Sith.” She said slowly to make sure Kahlan understood. “And I refuse to say anything about Mistress Nathair during the trial. You want to help me? Then respect that.”</p>
<p>Kahlan sighed but kept her frustration to herself this time. She couldn’t force Cara to talk during the hearing and she was already lucky the blonde had shared what she knew with her. “What do you want me to do then?”</p>
<p>“Conclude the hearing, let them judge me and when they decide that I’m guilty, confess me so we can be done with it,” Cara told her.</p>
<p>There was a knock on the door and a guard poked his head into the room. “Mother Confessor? Captain Arturis is asking if the hearing can resume.”</p>
<p>“Yes, I’ll be there shortly,” Kahlan replied. She focused back on Cara who was looking at her expectantly so she begrudgingly nodded in agreement. She didn’t like it but maybe Cara was right, it was the easiest way out.</p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>Kahlan sat back on the throne and went over Cara’s crimes again. She knew she was stalling but she wanted to study the teacher a bit more before sharing her verdict. She was trying to respect Cara’s wishes but her conscience was screaming at her to tell the truth, or at least, to push the teacher to show her true colors.</p>
<p>“I told you already, I killed my father, it’s as simple as that! What more do you want to hear before you sentence me to death?” Cara asked, ignoring the growing excitement of the villagers at her incoming demise.</p>
<p>“Is that what the Mord‘Sith taught you? To make simple choices?” Kahlan challenged her.</p>
<p>Cara sighed as if she was bored but her eyes were sending daggers at Kahlan for continuing this farce. “I did everything I was ordered to do and I don’t regret my choices.”</p>
<p>“Exactly, if you were ordered to do it, and manipulated into thinking it was the right decision, was it really your choice?” The Mother Confessor reasoned. “Darken Rahl was your master but there is also a hierarchy among the Mord’Sith, sisters you must obey. Could…”</p>
<p>“I was the one the Mord’Sith had to answer to.” Cara cut her off with a warning look.</p>
<p>“Not when you were younger,” Kahlan argued. She fought not to glance at the teacher but she could see Nathair staring at Cara with a scowl on her face. The teacher didn’t seem to appreciate what Cara was saying, clearly giving herself a title that didn’t belong to her. “You were…”</p>
<p>“I took the young girls and trained them,” Cara claimed loudly, interrupting Kahlan again. “I killed the husbands and the useless fathers. I made the next generation of Mord’Sith even stronger than mine…” She was about to continue when out of nowhere, a powerful female voice echoed in the room.</p>
<p>“You fool!” Miss Crantan growled. “How dare you take credit for the most powerful Mord’Sith army ever known?” She realized only too late what her pride had forced her to reveal. Everyone was gawking at her but she raised her chin haughtily and stared at them with blazing defiance. “I shaped those whiny, scrawny excuses of girls into strong, proud warriors… I gave them a purpose that transcended serving as mere wives to pathetic husbands. I created the strongest of the Mord’Sith, including you, Cara.” She locked eyes with her. “You were my best pupil; your rage was unmatched. I must admit, you were the most difficult one to tame but that’s why you were always my favorite.” She smiled almost proudly. “But I can’t let you stand here like a pathetic weakling and take credit for <em>my</em> legacy, <em>my</em> accomplishment while serving our Lord Rahl.”</p>
<p>“We trusted you with our children, you wench!” One of the older men in the crowd yelled.</p>
<p>“It’s Mistress Nathair to you, you yaldson.” The older blonde sneered back.</p>
<p>“Kill them! Kill them!” A group of elders started chanting.</p>
<p>“Kill them both! They don’t deserve mercy!” Sirian stood up in support of the elders’ decision as more and more voices joined them.</p>
<p>“Will the Mother Confessor abide by the wishes of our people.” Captain Arturis inquired curtly.</p>
<p>Kahlan looked at Cara. Her head was bowed but her eyes were looking right back at her, daring her to go through with it. Cara was probably mad at her for involving her teacher - despite her warning that it wouldn’t change anything - but she could worry about that later. She was now out of options and had no other choice but to agree with the captain’s demand. “I will.” She would have to play along for now, she had to if she didn’t want them to find out about Cara’s immortal nature.  She watched as the crowd dragged the two Mord’Sith out of the room. Their deaths were going to be turned into a public execution, a spectacle for the pleasure of the villagers, a scene made to bask in the suffering of two women. With a sigh, Kahlan put her white hood on and followed with a heavy heart. She was after all the bringer of death…</p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>Kahlan could see Cara walk with her head held high toward the gazebo at the center of the village. The rope around her wrists was sticky with blood and kept rubbing open the wounds that had already healed. Cara was staring into the void while Nathair stood tall by her side. As soon as Kahlan joined them, Ms. Crantan glared at her.</p>
<p>“I’ll see you in the underworld, Mother Confessor.” Nathair spat the words with as much disgust and disdain as she could manage.</p>
<p>Kahlan put her fingers around the older Mord’Sith’s neck and didn’t waste any time before confessing her. Her eyes turned black and Nathair fell to her knees. The crowd around them was cheering, rejoicing in her death while eagerly waiting for Cara’s turn. Then, Kahlan took a few steps to the side to face Cara. The blonde wasn’t making eye contact with her but she could still feel the anger radiating from her.</p>
<p>“Oh, what have I done? Oh please, forgive me.” Nathair begged as Kahlan stood in front of Cara.</p>
<p>“Your remorse is meaningless. You only feel that way because you have been confessed.” Kahlan stated, not paying much attention to the laments of the teacher. Slowly, she lifted her hand again and wrapped it around Cara’s throat. The gesture was familiar by now but it was gentler than all the times before. For the first time, Kahlan herself was filled with something akin to sadness but she reminded herself that she couldn’t possibly feel that way about Cara, that it was absurd, that she was not her friend and she couldn’t, shouldn’t, feel bad for her. Cara’s face remained stoic, blank and Kahlan hesitated for a moment.</p>
<p>“Just get it over with already,” Cara murmured quietly.  </p>
<p>“There’s something I have to get off my chest… We… We forced Cara to believe a lie.” Nathair spoke again.</p>
<p>The crowd groaned at yet another delay but Kahlan ignored them. Intrigued, she turned her head toward the teacher while her hand still on Cara’s throat felt the quickening of the woman’s heartbeat at the revelation.</p>
<p>“The hearing is over, confess her!” Captain Arturis insisted.</p>
<p>“No, you don’t understand!” Nathair yelled this time, her voice breaking. “I must tell the truth!”</p>
<p>“Confess her! Confess her! Confess her!” The villagers chanted despite the teacher’s admission.</p>
<p>Kahlan quickly dropped her hand to her side and frustratingly shouted. “Let her speak!”</p>
<p>“I tortured Cara’s father… for weeks.” Nathair began and this time, Cara was looking at her directly. “I beat him, tortured him with the agiels, I even let him taste the bite of my whip but no matter what I did… his love for his little girl was too strong.” The teacher continued. “He wouldn’t break. Finally,” She was struggling to breathe. “…I decided that if he wouldn’t say… what I wanted him to say then I… I would take away his ability to speak at all. We burnt his throat.”</p>
<p>Cara was visibly shaking now. Her stoicism was gone, replaced by a myriad of emotions, denial, betrayal, rage, sadness… The haunting memories brought tears in her eyes that were now on the brink of spilling.</p>
<p>“You were so young and it was so easy… to make you believe what we wanted.” The confessed woman seemed to be the only one relieved by her admission. “You wanted so bad to hear him say that it was all a lie, that he didn’t sell you. But he couldn’t say it, even if he wanted to…” She gasped one last time before falling dead on the ground.</p>
<p>Cara opened her mouth and took several deep breaths in a desperate attempt to keep herself steady. She swallowed with difficulty then said in a quiet voice. “Confess me.” Her words captured Kahlan’s attention. “I deserve it.” She took another shaky breath.</p>
<p>Kahlan brought her hand back on Cara’s neck and looked into her eyes. What she found there… What she saw was genuine, unadulterated remorse. Cara was finally feeling all the emotions she had been ignoring for so long. The blonde was also realizing that with guilt also came shame and regret. The realization took Kahlan by surprise. Cara’s distress was so strong that she could read her without confession. Kahlan inhaled deeply as a small tear made its way down Cara’s left eye, past her cheek, and right on the top of her hand. She could feel the small drop of salty water burn on her skin. Cara wasn’t pretending anymore. The desire to be confessed, to feel the pain, to pay the highest price for her sins was real. Kahlan paused, her lips slightly parted in amazement. She couldn’t do it… She could not confess Cara; she couldn’t let her suffer the pain of confession even if Cara couldn’t die. After one last look, she retrieved her hand and removed the hood of her white dress from her head. The villagers around them roared in anger as she turned around to face them. “I have looked into this woman’s eyes and I see now that she is truly remorseful.” Her voice shook with emotion but her tone was firm. “Her life was taken from her as a child, I will not take it from her again.”</p>
<p>“We asked you to come here to kill her so confess her.” Captain Arturis reminded her loudly. His discontent was mirrored among the villagers.</p>
<p>“The Mother Confessor follows no one’s orders.” Kahlan gritted her teeth and glared at him. “And it is within my authority to decide the fate of the Mord’sith.”</p>
<p>“Then we will kill you both!” Captain Arturis stated as all the soldiers reached for their swords.</p>
<p>The fight erupted suddenly. The crowd of angry villagers lunged themselves at them before Kahlan could even utter a word. She stopped the first man running toward her with a punch and unconsciously moved in front of Cara. She heard an angry shout and when she turned around, she was met by Captain Arturis and his crossbow. She braced herself for the pain she knew was coming but Cara unexpectedly stepped forward and kicked the weapon out of the man’s hands. Kahlan nodded in thanks before swiftly reaching for her daggers. She cut the rope around the blonde’s wrists then squared her shoulders to get ready for the next attack. As much as she wanted to avoid causing any serious injuries to these villagers, her patience had more than run out now. These people were so hungry for revenge that they were ready to kill the Mother Confessor for it.</p>
<p>From the corner of her eye, Kahlan could see Cara pummeling the captain with her fists. Even without her agiel, the blonde was a deadly threat. The broken woman who was standing in front of her just a moment ago was now gone and her cold Mord’Sith’s mask was back in place.</p>
<p>Kahlan was going through the motions, her body seemingly moving on its own, avoiding blows, blocking attacks, and advancing with her daggers. Cara was at her back, alternating between protecting her flank and attacking the soldiers. It wasn’t until Kahlan stabbed a guard in the shoulder and heard him cry in pain that her mind came back to the present. Most of the villagers that took part in the fight were now grunting on the ground, holding their twisted hands or broken legs. These men weren’t trained warriors and they were falling like flies… Even the soldiers didn’t put much of a fight. At least, Kahlan was glad to see her personal guards were still standing.</p>
<p>Cara had left Captain Arturis half-conscious on the ground to fight other soldiers but he seemed to have gathered some strength back and was now crawling to the side to grab his sword. Noticing the movement, Kahlan quickly moved in front of the captain just as he stood up and grabbed him by the throat. “Stand down!” She ordered. The chaos around them died down when people realized she was holding their leader. “My word is final!” She announced. Once she was sure no one would try to attack her again, she focused back on the captain. His face was a mess of blood but she could still see the fury in his swollen eyes. “This woman is off-limit. From now on, she is under my protection and you will suffer the same fate you wished upon her if you continue to try and impart a punishment I have not agreed to.” The anger in her voice was palpable. If she was honest, they were lucky that she was not looking for justice after they just tried to kill her. The old Kahlan, the one from before the war, the battles, and the curse would have felt bad for threatening a whole village but things were different now. “Justice was served, Mistress Nathair was confessed and died.” She gave one last squeeze to Captain Arturis’ throat, leaving him to stumble back and fall on his butt. “You should focus on rebuilding now.”</p>
<p>“Fine, she’s free to go.” The captain managed to say between coughs. “But she is not welcomed here.” He stood up with difficulty, helped by two other soldiers. “Everyone back to your houses, nothing more to see here.” He barked as he and his men left the square.</p>
<p><em>‘So much for mending fences…’</em> Kahlan thought as she watched the rest of the villagers go. She saw Cara approach her slowly and sighed. She had publicly announced her alliance with a Mord’Sith who could disappear overnight. She hoped she wouldn’t have to regret her decision.</p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>Soon, Kahlan and Cara were the only ones in the square. Kahlan studied the blonde as she came down from the rush of the fight. Kahlan had to admit it was nice to fight with Cara instead of against her. She still couldn’t believe Cara had protected her from the captain’s attack despite knowing it wouldn’t kill her. The blonde kept surprising her. The Mord’Sith had even managed to adapt to her fighting style when Richard never fully succeeded in coordinating their moves. Perhaps while Cara was learning to reign in her brutality, Kahlan was the one learning to accept hers and explore it with each fight. Or maybe it was just her mind over-analyzing things. Whatever it was, Kahlan was bound to return to that moment again and again for the next couple of days.</p>
<p>“I’m going to see Grace.” Cara declared, walking in direction of her sister’s house without waiting for Kahlan.</p>
<p>Kahlan blinked in surprise at hearing Cara’s voice. She didn’t know if it was just a statement or an invitation but she decided to follow the woman. She quickly ordered her guards to stay behind to make sure the villagers wouldn’t try to attack them again and grabbed her bag on her horse before joining Cara. She didn’t need guards to go back to Aydindril if the Mord’Sith was around.</p>
<p>They walked side by side in silence while Kahlan kept glancing at Cara, trying to find something to say. The woman looked tired but it was the deep scowl on her face that pushed her to ask. “Are you alright? You look shaken…”</p>
<p>Cara’s expression turned neutral. “You can’t read a Mord’sith.”</p>
<p>“No, but I didn’t lie when I said I saw regret in your eyes, which means your sister was right. No matter what the Mord’Sith did to you, your humanity is still there.” Kahlan pushed. After seeing so many emotions on the woman’s face, it was hard to see her shut down again. As expected, Cara ignored her but she decided to keep talking, even if the conversation was one-sided. “What happened to your father… it wasn’t your fault, Cara.” Her tone was gentle.</p>
<p>“I don’t want to talk about it,” Cara stated but there was a warning in there.</p>
<p>Kahlan sighed. She could wait. After the emotional whiplash Cara had today, she knew it was pointless to insist.</p>
<p>When Cara and Kahlan approached Grace’s house, they found her sitting on a bench outside. There was no trace of Sirian around. Kahlan was thankful for that and she was pretty sure Cara was too. She stopped walking and let Cara close the distance with her sister. She didn’t want to intrude.</p>
<p>“Grace…” Cara started but the rest of her sentence got stuck in her throat.</p>
<p>“Cara! I’m so glad you’re alive, I thought…” Grace surged forward to hug her sister but Cara took a step back.</p>
<p>Cara shook her head. “I don’t deserve your kindness…”</p>
<p>“Oh Cara, you deserve love more than anyone I know after what you’ve been through. I… I don’t know if you want to hear this but…” Grace seemed to hesitate. “I don’t hate you, Cara. I could never hate you, you are my sister, the only family I have left aside from Sirian and my children. I am not going to blame you for believing in twisted lies when you had nothing to hold on to. You were just a child, little sister… Let that guilt go, it is not yours to carry.” She slowly reached out again, giving Cara enough time to stop her if she wanted to. Cara stood still as her sister hugged her. Aware that her sister was uncomfortable, Grace quickly broke the embrace.</p>
<p>Kahlan smiled at the sight. Grace was the oldest but Cara was the taller one. She could see Cara struggling with feelings she didn’t know how to handle and once again felt bad for her.</p>
<p>Grace turned around and grabbed a small bag on the bench. “I don’t know where you’re going but I’ve gathered some food for your journey.” She handed the package to her sister. “Promise me we’ll see each other again. You have a family here, Cara, I don’t care what anybody else says.”</p>
<p>Cara nodded in agreement. “I need to change my clothes.”</p>
<p>“I can mend your dress if you’d like.” Grace offered.</p>
<p>Cara looked down at her torn dress and puffed some air. “I think my leather suits me best.” She nodded at her sister once again and went inside the house.</p>
<p>Grace watched her retreating back then looked at Kahlan, waving her closer so they could talk. “Thank you, Mother Confessor, for what you did for Cara.”</p>
<p>“Someone told me once that some people deserve a second chance.” Kahlan gave her a knowing smile. “I just hope we didn’t make a mistake by giving one to Cara.”</p>
<p>“Something’s telling that with you around, Cara is going to accomplish great things, meaningful things,” Grace said with certainty. “Just… be patient.”</p>
<p>Kahlan snorted. “I’ll try my best but I make no promises.”</p>
<p> “You two make quite the pair.” Grace laughed lightly. “I feel like there is more between you two than either of you are letting on. You met each other before, right?"</p>
<p>“I…” Kahlan opened her mouth to answer but closed it when she saw Cara approaching. The woman was wearing her crimson armor again but the corset and neckpiece were gone. The blonde even made an improvised low-cut neckline. “Story for another time.”</p>
<p>“I’ll hold you to that.” Grace winked.</p>
<p>“We should go before your husband comes back,” Cara announced. “If he ever disrespects you again, I’ll…”</p>
<p>“He’s not so bad,” Grace cut her off gently. “And I hope someday, he’ll see that you’re not either.”</p>
<p>“Fine.” Cara rolled her eyes. “Stay safe, Grace.” She gave her sister the quickest of hugs before walking away from the house.</p>
<p>Grace turned to Kahlan. “Take care of her… please. I have a feeling she will do the same for you.” She had a glint in her eyes, like she could see something Kahlan couldn’t.</p>
<p>Kahlan just nodded and smiled politely before hurriedly catching up with Cara.</p>
<p>“You took your sweet time! I don’t want to hear you complain later that we are advancing slowly.” Cara said but there wasn’t any bite in her words.</p>
<p>“Where are you going?” Kahlan questioned. The last time she asked Cara to travel with her to find out more about their curse, the blonde disappeared. “I thought you didn’t want to stay with me.”</p>
<p>“Well, I decided I wanted to know who cursed me.” Cara declared, her hand slowly reaching for the tip of one of her agiels.</p>
<p>“Who cursed us!” Kahlan corrected.</p>
<p>“Whatever.” Cara rolled her eyes. “Are you still going to the Westland?”</p>
<p>“No, <em>we </em>are going to Agaden Reach to see a woman named Shota.” Kahlan informed her. “But we need to stop in Aydindril first.” She added nonchalantly.</p>
<p>“The witch?” Cara frowned. “Why do we have to go to Aydindril? It’s an unnecessary detour that simply makes no sense.”</p>
<p>“In case you have forgotten, I am still the Mother Confessor, I can’t leave my people without notice,” Kahlan replied, too busy defending herself to question how Cara knew Shota was a witch. “Besides, we need coins and supplies.” Her plan was the same as the last time she offered Cara a truce but at least this time, winter was over and they wouldn’t need as many clothes.</p>
<p>“Of course, oh mighty Mother Confessor, how could I forget.” Cara snorted before hurrying her pace.</p>
<p>Kahlan exhaled slowly, once again murmuring to herself. “What have I gotten myself into…” But this time, there was a small smile gracing her features. Maybe she could see herself calling Cara her friend one day… eventually.</p>
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